Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, August 14. All times are Eastern.
MasterChef (Fox, 9 p.m.): After taking two weeks off on account of Olympics and the fact that it’s summer and everything, MasterChef is back, sacrificing its Monday-night episodes to The Great Gordon Ramsay Machine and settling in to a comfy breakfast nook of a Tuesday timeslot. Phil Dyess-Nugent stands by to breathlessly report which competitor will rue the day they made Ramsay rechristen his mouth the Hotel Hell. (Because the food was bad, you see, and he wants to promote his other, other, other show.)
The L.A. Complex (The CW, 9 p.m.): So this happened last week, which only makes us want cheer all the harder for the loveable scamps of The L.A. Complex. We can do so because Phil Dyess-Nugent is the one who has to think critically about the show; the rest of us can just scribble hearts around the words “Cassie Steele” on our three-ring binders.
White Collar (USA, 9 p.m.): Just when Neal Caffrey thought he was out, they pull him back in—“out” referring to “out of the crime game” and “they” meaning a blackmailing art thief. Kenny Herzog forgives us for applying a quote from the worst Godfather movie to his man Caffrey.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Dawson’s Creek (11 a.m.): Brandon Nowalk’s still a season-and-a-half away from encountering “the crying face,” but the double gutpunch Dawson receives in “The Dance” could’ve made James Van Der Beek scrunch up his face and convulse nonetheless.
Six Feet Under (1 p.m.): In a sentence we can’t foresee writing again in the immediate future, an errant hot dog causes big changes. John Teti is currently assembling a third-wave ska band named Errant Hot Dog.
Home Movies (3 p.m.): Erik Adams marks the end of Home Movies’ brief run on UPN—to be followed by its flourishing as part of Adult Swim. To commemorate this premature cancellation, watch one of the shows for which it made room, like Shasta McNasty. Definitely a good decision, UPN.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
The Week The Women Went (Lifetime, 10 p.m.): “Women: You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.” Actually, you can do both if you live in the North Carolina town subjected to the social experiment that makes up the core of this Lifetime reality show.
The Glee Project (Oxygen, 10 p.m.): With so many characters from the show’s first three seasons moving on to bigger and more distracting things, Glee could actually use an infusion of fresh blood from The Glee Project. Watch as Chris Colfer helps anoint the successors to Dreadlocks Guy, Irish Kid, and The Girl In The Beret That Made Plymouth Rock Land On Rachel.
Collection Intervention (Syfy, 10 p.m.): Now part of the long list of undiagnosed reality-show afflictions: “Extreme collecting.” Inevitably followed by “It’s Worth How Much?”-itis.
The Burn (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Comedy Central’s “roast master general” turns his attention from the Roseannes of the world to the world of the world. No cheap shot goes untaken as Ross and a panel of likeminded stand-put current events through one more comedic filter.
Postcards From The Edge (TV Guide, 8 p.m.): On the subject of beneficiaries from The Roast Of Roseanne: Carrie Fisher just reminded the non-theatergoing world how hilariously self-deprecating she can be, a reminder that isn’t necessary for anyone who’s recently seen this fictionalized account of Fisher’s recovery from addiction and her relationship with mother Debbie Reynolds.
White Heat (TCM, 10 p.m.): Make it a mother-issue double feature with James Cagney’s signature gangster picture, which put “Made it ma! Top of the world!” into the popular lexicon.
2012 Summer Olympics: Women’s swimming (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.): The Peacock tries squeezing the last, lingering golden egg out of its Olympics goose, repackaging the highlights like Missy Franklin’s ascension to the platform, likely chopped up and reheated for this presentation.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Hotel Hell: On Gordon Ramsay’s Hotel Hell, Brandon Nowalk checks in, and he almost immediately checks out, thanks to a noticeable lack of substance and salaciousness.