Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, September 19. All times are Eastern.
Million Second Quiz (NBC, 8 p.m.): The live finale of the world’s strangest gameshow pits the Winners’ Row against each other to see who will win the jackpot. Viewers across America will be watching, wondering, hoping: Will the show finally make sense? Will meaning be restored to primetime NBC? Or are we doomed to a life of lies? Ryan Seacrest hosts the end to a perplexing show that is sure to have you scratching your head thoughtfully as you play Tetris on your phone.
Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, midnight): A hospital critic visits the show during a wine tasting, which indicates to David Sims that healthcare is now covering both critique and fermented grapes. Thanks, Obama!
NTSF: SD: SUV:: (Adult Swim, 12:30 a.m.): In tonight’s episode, Trent and Sam trade faces to foil a terrorist ring. Is it just Face/Off, the finest movie of our generation? Kevin MacFarland investigates.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (11 a.m.): DS9 tackles the tricky problem of shapeshifters, who have the tricky habit of turning into common household appliances just to see what you’re up to. Zack Handlen is pretty sure the microwave is not a shapeshifter but admittedly he cannot explain where all those Hot Pockets disappeared to.
Gilmore Girls (1 p.m.): The title of the first episode is “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving,” which has put us in mind of deep-fried Korean turkey, which has led us to make an early-morning and risky trip to Korea, so you’ll have to wait for David Sims to tell you what happens next.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Dreamworks Dragons: Defenders Of Berk (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): The creators of How To Train Your Dragon have a spin-off show for you. Hiccup and his Viking friends have to protect their homeland, Berk, with their dragon friends. Gwen Ihnat is pretty sure if she plays her cards right, she’ll be able to a steal a dragon by the end of the evening.
Wipeout (ABC, 8 p.m.): Tonight’s finale of the sixth season of Wipeout puts contestants from “gross” professions through a similarly “gross” obstacle course. Which means that a “pooper scooper,” a “bustodian,” and a “roach poacher” are going through “Failboxes With Skunks” and a “Taco Truck.” Wait, taco trucks are gross? WE’VE BEEN LIED TO.
The X Factor (Fox, 8 p.m.): The compellingly titled “Auditions #4” will feature auditions, hashtag number four exclamation point.
Project Runway (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): A special superfan episode has the designers creating garments for the show’s biggest fans. Briefly we thought this meant the designers were creating super-fans, devices that cool you down with a light breeze and solve crime. We were wrong.
National Treasure (AMC. 7 p.m.): Nicolas Cage is going to STEAL. THE DECLARATION. OF INDEPENDENCE. Presumably so he can find the missing “h” in his first name.
Licence To Kill (Encore, 8 p.m.): Timothy Dalton’s James Bond kills a whole bunch of people, presumably in an effort to discover why his “licence” has too many “c”s in it.
WNBA Playoffs: Washington vs. Atlanta (ESPN2, 8 p.m.) The Washington Mystics and the Atlanta Dream face off in game one of the Eastern Conference semifinals. Angel McCoughtry hopes to lead the Dream to victory, but faces stiff competition from a revamped Mystics.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Frontline (PBS, 9 p.m.): “Egypt In Crisis” is an in-depth look at the Muslim Brotherhood’s recent history and analyzes what the ousting of President Mohammed Morsi means for the controversial political party. Phil Dyess-Nugent takes a look at the real-world crisis, which he assures us is only slightly more important than the Emmys.