A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features AVC Sessions Newswire
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

In case of soul emergency, call the Hall And Oates hotline

Other than maybe death and poverty or something, is there anything sadder than being so frustratingly close to the holidays yet still trapped at work? Definitely not, girl and guy that’s eavesdropping on me while I’m talking to this hypothetical girl. What you need is a little pick-me-up—for example, the smooth, blue-eyed soul sounds of late-’70s/early-‘80s hitmakers Hall And Oates. And right now their satin-smooth, soft-rock sounds are only a phone call away thanks to the Callin’ Oates hotline. Simply dial 719-26-OATES and you’ll be tapped into the national emergency Hall And Oates broadcast system, where you can choose from one of four songs: Press 1 for “One On One,” 2 for “Rich Girl,” 3 for “Maneater,” and 4 for “Private Eyes.”

The official word is that the line was set up as a test for a new service from Twilio, which describes itself as “providing infrastructure APIs for businesses to build scalable, reliable voice and text messaging apps,” awww yeah, just the way you like it. But don’t trouble your head with viral marketing right now, girl and guy who should mind his own business, seriously. Just let these silky songs slip-slide over you, and we’ll get through these next few lonely work hours together.

Submit your Newswire tips here.