Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, June 26. All times are Eastern.
Big Brother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Don’t look at us. We’ve only watched this one once or twice. But there’s a sizable contingent of people out there who are going to be talking and tweeting about this one all summer long, and we just wanted you to know it was back. Is this something we’re excited about? Not really, but it seemed important, and there wasn’t really anything else that seemed “top pick”-able, if you follow our logic. We’re hoping this season—as boiled down on The Soup—is even more ridiculous than the show usually is. We’re guessing our odds are pretty good.
Arrested Development (Netflix, 11 a.m.): We’d been missing Lucille Bluth something fierce, and then, sure enough, there she was, to guide us into the fourth season’s final third, holding her torch aloft like a beacon. Erik Adams and Noel Murray nod to her as she ushers them forward into the darkening void.
MasterChef (Fox, 8 p.m.): Phil Dyess-Nugent lives down in Texas, where we understand there are some political goings-on that you may wish to discuss in the comments of this article. We freely invite you to discuss them, because then we don’t have to look up in TV Guide what’s happening on MasterChef.
Futurama (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): Futurama heads for ground Bob’s Burgers recently trod with an E.T. parody, or so we’re guessing from the episode title. Only it seems Fry will befriend a lil’ monster, while Gene befriended an outside toilet. We say tomato; Zack Handlen says to-mah-to. Whatever.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Freaks And Geeks (1 p.m.): This week’s episode has the word “breasts” in the title, so maybe it will be your favorite thing ever. But it also has the word “tests” in the title, so maybe it will be your least favorite thing ever. Todd VanDerWerff has it easy. He likes both things in almost equal measure!
Sports Night (3 p.m.): There’s a girl named Pixley in one of this week’s episodes, and while we know it’s not the case, we imagine that she’s a little sprite that lives inside your copy of Microsoft Office and pops up to say, “It looks like you’re writing a letter!” when you write “Dear…” Donna Bowman hates that girl.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Count It Down (TV Guide Network, 8 p.m.): If you enjoy shows where people count things down, well, it appears TV Guide Network has a whole show for you. Tonight, they count down the coolest movie characters, though we’re betting they missed the titular character from Au Hasard Balthazar.
Million Dollar Listing New York (Bravo, 9 p.m.): Would you like to buy one of these houses? Well, you’d better have several million dollars just lying around. We sure don’t. We spent all of that money forcing our writers to cover stupid, boring sitcoms, and then we never got paid back. So we’re broke now.
How To Live With Your Parents (For The Rest Of Your Life) (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): For a time, it looked like ABC might renew this sitcom at the last minute, but cooler heads prevailed, and now, we’ll never see it again, except for all of the times we’ll accidentally stumble upon it on Hulu in the middle of the night.
King Of The Grill (Discovery, 10 p.m.): The Discovery Channel wants you getting excited about all of the delicious meat you’ll be eating on Independence Day (assuming you’re an American and July 4 is a thing to you), and we can’t wait to eat all that meat. Mmmm… delicious meat.
Beaches (Flix, 8 p.m.): This consummate Bette Midler vehicle—she sings “The Wind Beneath My Wings” for God’s sake—used to be a summertime staple on the big networks. Now, it’s been relegated to a cable channel you probably don’t even get. It’s not all that good, but it’s still sappy and fun to watch.
They Died With Their Boots On (TCM, 8 p.m.): Errol Flynn plays General George Armstrong Custer in a film that TV Guide describes as “largely fictitious.” Which would become readily apparent to anyone who saw Custer escape the Battle of Little Bighorn by flying through the sky on a rocketship. Probably.
MLB Baseball: Rangers at Yankees (ESPN2, 7 p.m.): With both the NBA and Stanley Cup Finals over, the sports calendar settles into a long, lazy summer of baseball games and not a whole lot else. That is, of course, just the way we like things, and we look forward to two of the AL’s best teams battling it out.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Perception (Tuesday): We wanted to see if this crime procedural had gotten better since the last time we dropped in on it, back when it debuted. Eric Thurm bit the bullet, and what he found was horrifying. Absolutely horrifying. Okay, no, we suspect he just watched the show try to sustain an awful premise.