Citing the ongoing demand for films that will provide undiscriminating teenagers a comfortable, dark place to text each other for 90 minutes, haphazard production has begun on both Scary Movie 5 and The Starving Games, two more rickety frameworks on which overt and easily recognized allusions to mainstream popular culture can be slung as quickly and sloppily as possible. "Our latest sequel is a direct parody of Black Swan, a film we chose as our satirical target with the same indifference and shallow knowledge of the source material with which it will be sort-of received by kids barely acknowledging it through their peripheral vision," a statement from the Weinstein Company did not read regarding Scary Movie 5, but should have. Meanwhile, Coming Soon quoted franchise star Anna Faris as saying she was similarly unsure of whether she will participate in the film, not that it really matters to her or anyone else.
In between pointing at celebrities they recognize and cackling like babies entranced by a dangling set of car keys, spoof movie duo Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer announced that The Starving Games would follow the comic formula of predecessors like Meet The Spartans and Vampires Suck, i.e. borrowing the backdrop of The Hunger Games and then inserting references to unrelated movies such as The Avengers, Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows, and Harry Potter that people will immediately identify and therefore find funny. "We hope to cram as much mirthless incorporation of mainstream popular culture into our film as our short attention spans and total creative indolence allow," Friedberg and Seltzer said in the statement we just made up that is an example of actual spoofing, adding, "Also, her name will probably be Fatness, and she'll be real fat."
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org