The Republic of Indonesia, an archipelago that has been one of the world's most important, densely populated Muslim nations and trading centers since at least the 7th century, is now officially "Some Random Country," by decree of polenta potentate Justin Bieber, as he didn’t really like it there. Bieber issued his edict while in London on the diplomatic mission of sharing tracks from his latest album, Believe, as well as his opinions on things—a mission repeatedly compromised by a sound system that Bieber decried as sounding "like crap," and questions from British host Reggie Yates that were delivered in a ridiculous British accent, which Bieber was forced to correct with "It's think’ with a ‘th’, not an ‘f’," thereby spurring a sweeping revision of English elocution.
The similar upheaval for Indonesia came during a lull from these indignities, when Bieber described the unthinkable recording process for one of his songs with "I was in some random country" where the studio was "some little place" with a staff who "didn't know what they were doing." Bieber's manager then clarified that Bieber's darkest hour occurred in the former Indonesia, known internationally as that little place with nearly 240 million people whose chief industries include oil and gas, manufacturing, and being really shitty at running recording studios. The Wall Street Journal reports that Bieber's comments have since upset his sizable following in Indonesia, but as there is no Indonesia anymore, any publicity crisis has already been averted.
Send your Newswire tips to email@example.com