Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, July 11, and Saturday, July 12. All times are Eastern.
Hemlock Grove (Netflix, 12 a.m., Friday): With House Of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, and Arrested Development finding critical and popular success it would be easy to assume Netflix can do no wrong when it comes to original programming. Thankfully Hemlock Grove is here to prove that the streaming service isn’t infallible after all. Zack Handlen gave the show’s first season an F and described it as “a shockingly inane misstep, a ponderous mess whose only saving grace are the occasional moments of camp, inadvertent and otherwise, sprinkled throughout.” Largely negative reviews weren’t enough to stop the show from filming a second season—which will be available to stream in its entirety starting Friday at midnight. Whether the second season will get a better handle on its werewolves, vampires, nudity, swearing, and dead teenagers remains to be seen.
Almighty Johnsons (SyFy, 10 p.m., Friday): SyFy is airing this New Zealand comedy/drama that chronicles the adventures of four modern day brothers who happen to be reincarnated Norse gods. Almighty Johnsons could be a lot of fun if it hits the right levels of camp (the trailer suggests it might), although it’s hard to imagine anyone but Tom Hiddleston playing Loki.
Kurt Metzger: White Precious (Comedy Central, 11 p.m., Friday): Comedian Kurt Metzger talks child beauty pageants and financial meltdowns in his new hour-long comedy special. You’re WOT correspondent is unfamiliar with Metzger’s comedy stylings, which means she’s unclear whether this title is a reference to Precious: Based On A Novel By Sapphire, Gollum’s favorite catchphrase, or white gold.
Legends Of Korra (Nickelodeon, 8 p.m., Friday)
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Babylon 5 (11 a.m., Friday): Rowan Kaiser takes a look at the first six episodes of season five of Babylon 5. That’s what we in the business refer to as a “6:5:5.”
Blackadder (3 p.m., Friday): Doctor Who’s Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker, makes a guest appearance on Blackadder’s second season. Kate Kulzick will be keeping her eyes peeled for the TARDIS.
The Twilight Zone (1 p.m., Saturday): Zack Handlen takes a look at two Twilight Zone episodes this week, one of which was originally bumped from the schedule due to President Kennedy’s assassination. “Night Call” didn’t end up airing until months later. This has been “Random Facts In TV History.”
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
It’s a pre-air review bonanza! Zack Handlen weighs in on Guillermo De Toro’s The Strain before handing off the baton to Sonia Saraiya for weekly reviews. Meanwhile Sonia has plenty of thoughts on the second seasons of both Masters Of Sex and Ray Donovan—one of which she liked much more than the other. And finally a bunch of TV Club writers (and their film colleagues) weigh in on their favorite movies of the year so far.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Girl Meets World (Disney, 8:30 p.m., Friday): Girl Meets World settles into its regular time slot with an episode in which Cory takes away his student’s cellphones for a lesson in face-to-face communication. It’s a plot perfectly designed to make Boy Meets World fans feel old.
Untold Stories Of The E.R. (Health, 9 p.m., Friday): This show returns for a ninth season even though we’re pretty sure Grey’s Anatomy has already told all of the E.R. stories.
Donut Showdown (Cooking, 10 p.m., Friday): We’ve done no research into the second season premiere of this show because we’d like to keep imagining it’s WWE but for donuts.
Cops (Spike, 8 p.m., Saturday): Cops returns for a 27th season which is both impressive and disheartening all at once.
Presumed Dead In Paradise (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): The cops of Cops might be useful in this Lifetime original movie about a rebellious teen, a dark conspiracy, and a fake drowning.
Paths Of Glory (TCM, 8 p.m., Friday): July 28 will mark the 100th year anniversary of the start of WWI. That means now’s the time to brush up on your history with a TCM two-fer. First up, this 1957 film that tells the true story of a French general who sent his troops on a suicide mission in hopes of getting a promotion.
All Quiet On The Western Front (TCM, 9:45 p.m., Friday): And then take in this 1930 film adaptation of Erich Maria Remarque’s novel about his disheartening experience as a German solider on the Western Front.
Pearl Harbor (Bravo, 8 p.m., Saturday): Then exchange somber contemplations of the horrors of WWI for schlocky melodrama about the heroism of WWII with Michael Bay’s take on the Pearl Harbor attacks.
The Tour de France: Stage 7 (NBC Sports, 8 p.m., Friday): Reigning champion Chris Froome crashed out of the race two days ago, leaving the Yellow Jersey competition wide open. Professional cycling is way more exciting than you think it would be, we promise!
2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil: Third Place Match (multiple networks, 3:30 p.m., Saturday): Brazil and Netherlands play for the third place ranking in this year’s World Cup. No matter what happens, it will likely be less embarrassing for Brazil then their last game against Germany.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Comedy Bang! Bang!: Comedy Bang! Bang! gets an assist from Josh Groban for its third season summer finale. Was he able to raise up the show to stand on mountains and walk on stormy seas?