A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire TV Club Classic
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Into Law And Order, dogs, and chicken wings? Enter to win a date with Marnie Stern

Babes who can shred need love too. At least, Marnie Stern does. Her record label, Kill Rock Stars, is offering fans a chance to win an all-expenses-paid date with the guitar goddess around the March 19 release of her new record, The Chronicles Of Marnia.

There are some criteria, though: It’s open to dudes only (sorry, ladies). Winners must like Law And Order, cute Jewish girls, and petting dogs while eating chicken wings. The winner must also live in New York, have a good sense of humor, and be open-minded about dating someone who tours frequently. Also, no drug addicts, creeps, stalkers, slackers, nor vegans need apply.

Interested parties must also be willing to subject themselves to a fairly vigorous line of questioning about whether they’re gainfully employed, have good relationships with their exes, and even what kind of medications they’re currently on. If that kind of soul-searching isn’t a deterrent, email datemarnieonreleasedate@gmail.com for more info and submit yourself to Cupid’s glare.

 

Submit your Newswire tips here.