Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, May 3, and Saturday, May 4. All times are Eastern.
Happy Endings (ABC, 8 p.m., Friday): Is this the end of Happy Endings? The final two episodes of the third—and possibly final—season air tonight, and barring ABC having a crisis of conscience because it’s visited by four ghosts who resemble the Fonz, Lucille Ball, Jim Parsons, and Justin Bieber (yes, he’s the Ghost of Sitcoms Yet To Come; yes, you should hold your tongue until you see Bieber! In 2027), or USA waking in a cold sweat to find the head of some less lucky sitcom in its bed, this could be the last you ever see of this show. David Sims hopes not. He needs money to feed his kids! Think of David, networks!
Doctor Who (BBC America, 8 p.m., Saturday): This week’s episode is entitled “The Crimson Horror,” which is what we call it when Alasdair Wilkins smears strawberry jam all over himself and proceeds to do what he calls the “Dance of the Seven Gym Socks.” The routine, though? Surprisingly delicious.
Smash (NBC, 8 p.m., Saturday): If you saw the end of last week’s episode, you know why Todd VanDerWerff is so glower-y about the whole prospect of what could happen this week. For God’s sake, Smash! Don’t act like you’re some high-quality drama anymore! You air on Saturdays! Add a monkey!
Orphan Black (BBC America, 9 p.m., Saturday): Alison’s our favorite character on this thing, so we’re excited to hear that this week’s episode will focus on her. Meanwhile, Caroline Framke welcomes the news that this show was picked up for a second season and hopes for many more clones to come.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m., Saturday): Zach Galifianakis hosts, but David Sims is most excited about the musical guest, Of Monsters And Men. After intense training by assorted Himalayan monks, David can now perform both vocal parts in the song by himself at the same time! He’s a miracle man.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Babylon 5 (11 a.m., Friday): A news crew comes to Babylon 5 to file a report, and we’d talk about that awesome episode of Battlestar Galactica that did this exact plotline if we didn’t think that Rowan Kaiser would reiterate how that show let him down. This week’s B5 review will peter out with no answers.
The Twilight Zone (1 p.m., Saturday): Steven Spielberg turned one of this week’s episodes—“Kick The Can”—into some treacly bullshit in the Twilight Zone movie, and this is coming from folks who generally like good ol’ Stevie. Zack Handlen sees if the remake was accurate or overblown. He suspects the latter.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
30 Days In May (BET, 8 p.m., Friday): This new documentary examines boxer Floyd Mayweather, Jr.’s incarceration for the domestic battery of his girlfriend. Mayweather returns to the ring on Saturday, so if you’re curious about the whole situation for some unimaginable reason, here’s a way to get caught up.
Alien Earths Revealed (National Geographic, 9 p.m., Friday): National Geographic Channel uses something called a “computer” to take viewers on an imaginary journey through the galaxy, in search of other planets that might sustain life. We imagine there will be many speculative alien lifeforms. Science!
Maron (IFC, 10 p.m., Friday): Kyle Ryan takes a look at this new series from the popular comic and podcast host, which functions as a sort of West Coast variation on Louie. It feels a touch lightweight, but it’s largely enjoyable, and we’re hopeful it will evolve into something more, as Louie ultimately did.
Merlin (Syfy, 10 p.m. Friday): The “battle of the one-word M titles” continues at 10 p.m., as the final season of this Arthurian legend reimagining begins its final season. The first episode is a two-parter, entitled “Arthur’s Bane,” which sounds like a pretty awesome heavy metal concept album, no?
All My Children/One Life To Live (Hulu, 4 p.m., Saturday): Hulu recently resurrected these once dead daytime soaps, and from the ads we've seen during this giant Scandal rewatch, it seems the streaming service made them look even cheaper than usual. Carrie Raisler takes a look and lets us know how they are.
Cops (Fox, 8 p.m., Saturday): Though Happy Endings is the potential series ender that we’re most concerned about this weekend, we thought it worth noting that this long-running reality series could end a well. We’d guess that it rises to live on again, but you might want to sing “Bad Boys” just in case.
Galaxy Quest (AMC, 8 p.m., Friday): Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Tony Shalhoub, and Alan Rickman are all hilarious in this very funny movie about the stars of a cult sci-fi series who are kidnapped by aliens that misunderstand who they really are and forced into something straight out of their TV show.
The Goonies (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m., Friday): You might say that The Goonies is a great movie or a lot of fun or whatever, but you’d be wrong. It’s nostalgia! Rose-colored glasses! As an adult, this movie pretty much sucks! Now, if you were to say that about Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown, well, to arms, sir!
Gold Diggers Of 1933 (TCM, 8 p.m., Saturday): We were gonna do a whole thing where we rewrote the lyrics of the Kanye West song “Gold Digger” to be about Busby Berkeley, but then we just thought about it, and we got very tired. So we suggest that you do this below in comments. We will nod our approval.
Stanley Cup Playoffs: Game 2: Senators at Canadiens (CNBC, 7 p.m., Friday): For a while there, it looked like the Habs were going to play the Maple Leafs, but then, the Senators stepped into the role of “other Canadian team” instead. In related news: What the hell is up with “Habs” anyway? We have no Google.
Volleyball: NCAA Championship (ESPNU, 9 p.m., Saturday): It’s time for the men’s championship game, and we have no idea who’s playing in it! We’re guessing this is because the two finalists haven’t been determined, but, again, we have no Google anymore, so we can’t look it up. Figure it out yourselves!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Big Bang Theory (Thursday): What’s up, Bob Newhart? We’re always happy to see you on our TV sets in a guest role or two, and we’re hoping that you’ll find your way to that long elusive Emmy Award thanks to your work on this. Oliver Sava wants you to know that he has a very button-down mind.