Smash returns, belting the words it knows every TV fan wants to hear: “TWO-HOUR PREMIÈRE!” 

Smash returns, belting the words it knows every TV fan wants to hear: “TWO-HOUR PREMIÈRE!” 

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, February 5. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK

Smash (NBC, 9 p.m.): That melismatic rumbling you’ve detected beneath the surface of your favorite NBC programs is finally prepared to break out into showstopping harmony: Smash is back tonight. It’s plus a Jennifer Hudson, minus an Ellis, and boasting a full additional hour to allow viewers to let the hate flow through themselves. Noel Murray warns you that hate leads to suffering—and an unhealthy investment in Debra Messing’s scarves.


REGULAR COVERAGE

Raising Hope (Fox, 8 p.m.): The conclusion to last week’s “Hope the child star” cliffhanger is followed by an episode featuring a plot seemingly inspired by Storage Wars. Is Phil Dyess-Nugent excited for these developments? Yuuup!

New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): _Speaking of exciting conclusions: Nick and Jess must deal with the consequences of that big kiss from last week. Erik Adams assumes “consequences” is code for “David Walton’s fist hitting Jake Johnson’s face.”

The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): The Mindy Project has to take next Tuesday off because of some sort of presidential speech, so it’s celebrating Valentine’s Day a week early. David Sims would prefer if the show waited until February 18 to mark the holiday, if only so he could take advantage of discount-priced heart-shaped candies before writing his review.

Justified (FX, 10 p.m.): Raylan heads into the hills, where he encounters “unexpected danger.” Since this episode is titled “Kin,” we’re assuming Noel Murray’s about to face down all sorts of backwoods, Deliverance-style horrors alongside Marshal Givens.

The Joe Schmo Show (Spike, 10 p.m.): Chase grows suspicious about the true nature of The Full Bounty—right around the same time Scott Von Doviak notices that all DVR listings for the new Joe Schmo appear to be glued onto his TV screen. Coincidence? When you’re this deep into a hoax, nothing is a coincidence.

Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.): The Rehabilitation of Bobby Cobb enters its “starting a food truck” phase. Though, after last week’s episode, Ryan McGee has to wonder how that truck is going to pass muster with the health inspector. 

White Collar (USA, 10 p.m.): As TV Guide tells it, “a forgery and money-laundering case has links to jazz and taxicabs.” And now Kenny Herzog has to think of a new title for his detective novel about a Thelonious Monk-obsessed private dick who moonlights as a cab driver, previously titled Jazz And Taxicabs. Thanks a lot, White Collar!


WHAT ELSE IS ON

Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special (NBC, 8 p.m.): NBC’s booming Betty Whitesploitation sector can continue to exist so long as it keeps churning out product that is as delightfully old-fashioned as this roast/salute to the former Ms. Rose Nyland. The absence of Don Rickes and/or Rip Taylor from the guest list is mind-boggling.

The Face (Oxygen, 9 p.m.): The Voice Accords of 2012 require all new reality competitions to add perfunctory spinning chair-style twists to previously established reality formats; and that’s how you get a Nigel Barker-hosted modeling contest where fashion icons mentor runway wannabes who show off their looks sans makeup.

Emily Owens, M.D. (The CW, 9 p.m.): Series finales are just like high-school graduation, right? Or are they more like senior prom? (We haven’t checked in with this quickly axed series since its pilot, so we can only assume that pat analogies like the preceding were its raison d’être to the bitter end.)

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The continued success of Tosh.0 and Workaholics has given the once cancellation-happy Comedy Central more wiggle room when it comes to the Key & Peeles and Kroll Shows on its lineup. In the interest of building a cushion for the forthcoming Comedy Central efforts by Anthony Jeselnik and Amy Schumer, just tune in to Tosh.0’s fifth-season première and mute the volume for the whole half-hour.

Billy Budd (TCM, 8 p.m.): Peter Ustinov directed and starred in this 94-minute adaptation of the Herman Melville novella—its running length approximately four hours of shy of the time it’ll take you to read Billy Budd, surely the driest 131 pages to ever grace a summer reading list.

21 Jump Street (Starz, 9 p.m.): The film version of the 1980s cop drama that made Johnny Depp a star went the tongue-in-cheek, Brady Bunch Movie route. Thanks to a murderers’ row of supporting players (Nick Offerman! Rob Riggle! Ice Cube!) and a clever portrayal of shifting high-school social strata, it ended up much funnier than it had any right being.

NHL Hockey: Lightning at Flyers (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.): Teams of disparate post-lockout fortunes—the Lightning are at the top of their division, while the Flyer languish in the Eastern Conference basement—face off in Philadelphia.


IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Monday Mornings (TNT, 10 p.m.): Even if this wasn’t the best David E. Kelley pilot in years, it would’ve at least given Todd VanDerWerff a new method for debriefing TV Club writers. “Defend your decision to give this episode a ‘B-,’” he’ll say from behind a desk on some future Monday morning, his face affecting the incredulous glare of Alfred Molina