Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, March 13. All times are Eastern.
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): It occurs to us we have yet to make this season our Top Pick, so we’ll rectify that injustice right now. It’s a pity that it’s not shaping up to be as good as the last couple of (admittedly stellar) seasons, though Survivor seasons have overcome weak starts before. Maybe things will spice up a little bit tonight when Brandon sabotages the Favorites’ camp. Because if there’s one thing that can make any show better, it’s somebody sabotaging other people’s stuff. Carrie Raisler hopes that the whole episode is just Brandon lighting stuff on fire while Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” plays.
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): This week’s episode is written by St. Elsewhere and Northern Exposure creator Joshua Brand, which may be something that only Todd VanDerWerff and Genevieve Koski care about, but if the hour ends with a moose wandering past Phillip and Elizabeth, you’ll know why.
Psych (USA, 10 p.m.): Enough of you crazy kids have been reading Kevin McFarland’s reviews to move this one back into the rotation—for now! This is the last episode for which he has a screener, so after this, you’ll be subjected to the whims of our TV editor’s terrifying, incomprehensible judgment.
Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.): Sammy unexpectedly becomes a tabloid celebrity, which means, we can only expect, that he hangs out with Justin Bieber a lot and wears that hat Damon Lindelof was so excited about on Twitter. Kevin McFarland is eagerly looking forward to a show starring just that hat.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The guys are excited about a new video game, but each of them wants their own copy. But presuming all of them pre-ordered the game, how is this even an issue? And even if they didn’t, couldn’t they at least sample it? Kevin McFarland writes all our TV reviews now.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
TV Roundtable (1 a.m.): Genevieve Koski made the choice this week, and she settled on the musical episode of Daria, to some surprisingly divergent reactions from our panelists. But if you like singing cartoons, there are far worse options than this one. Except Brittany. Her singing voice is horrifying.
Slings And Arrows (1 p.m.): Now that Rachel McAdams is gone, Todd VanDerWerff’s interest in this series has drastically plummeted. But he supposes he can soldier on and give you coverage of the season two. He’s going to do his best to not say Macbeth. Ah, dammit. Now we’ve cursed this What’s On Tonight.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Under Siege: America’s Northern Border (Discovery, 8 p.m.): “Day 567 of the war of Canadian aggression. A new regiment marched across the border from Newfoundland. I don’t know how long we can hold out. Pray for all those who weren’t warned of this day by that one Discovery special in 2013.”
The Neighbors (ABC, 8:30 p.m.): Even The Neighbors wants in on our “musical numbers” themed round of the TV Roundtable, as tonight’s episode features an original musical “written” by Larry Bird. We’re hoping that it’s a musical version of District 9. We suspect Larry could really relate to that story.
Restaurant: Impossible (Food Network, 9 p.m.): This week, our host doesn’t just turn a failing restaurant around. He fixes a broken relationship. Yes, a mother and daughter are at odds because of their restaurant, and, says the TV Guide summary, their staff. Maybe Robert just fires everybody?
My Strange Addiction (TLC, 10 p.m.): Ah, My Strange Addiction! Balm for the wearied What’s On Tonight author’s soul! For who needs to even attempt a joke when the episode description involves someone who’s eaten a jar of facial mask cream every day for seven years. It’s all right there already!
The Faculty (IFC, 8 p.m.): Back in our college days, we showed this mostly mediocre alien invasion horror movie to a girl we were kinda sorta seeing at the time, and she seemed none too impressed. But, reader, she married us. The lesson to you is to show a girl this movie if you want to marry her.
Waking Life (Sundance, 8 p.m.): At the exact opposite end of the film quality spectrum is this Richard Linklater examination of the dreamscape, done entirely via rotoscoped animation. It’s a lovely, deep, insightful piece of work, and if you flip back and forth between it and Faculty, you’ll have an epiphany.
NBA Basketball: Jazz at Thunder (ESPN, 8 p.m.): This is roughly the time of year when we expect that the NBA season is going to be wrapping up in a couple of weeks, only to realize that it’s going to keep going until roughly mid-September. (That’s only a rough estimate.) Don’t worry! Baseball’s almost here!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Justified (Tuesday): “Get Drew” says tonight’s episode title, and if it’s referring to the Drew we used to know back in high school, we’re sorry, but we don’t know where he is right now. Probably at his house? Check Facebook. We think we saw his address there. Noel Murray found Drew Thompson in his attic.