Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, December 11. All times are Eastern.
Key And Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): See, Key And Peele? We told you we’d make you Top Pick someday! We put you on our Best TV of 2013 list, and now you get to be Top Pick? Everything’s comin’ up Key And Peele! Of course, we’ll miss our favorite sketch show when it wraps up its season next week, and we’ll especially miss Brandon Nowalk’s coverage of it, because how many other sketch comedy reviews out there make sure to point out their program’s cinematic qualities? Not many, that’s for damn sure!
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): Now that The Flash is a part of the show, we’re ready for the series to just gradually turn into a small-screen Justice League show. And you know who should be on that Justice League show? Detective Chimp! (Alasdair Wilkins is rolling his eyes at our enthusiasm right now.)
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): If there’s one thing we’ve established in the last few weeks, it’s that The Middle knows what it’s doing when it comes to holiday episodes. Here’s another opportunity for the show to prove it, as Sue becomes allergic to the Christmas tree. Will Harris is devastated on her behalf.
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): We’ve gotten to the point in the season when the TV Guide summaries are as basic as, “Another castaway is voted out of the game,” so that means we’re down to the nitty gritty. Carrie Raisler will write another review of an episode of a CBS reality show tonight. Thrilling stuff, guys.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): Modern Family doesn’t celebrate Christmas every season because it has high enough ratings and enough Emmys to keep it from having to celebrate any holiday it doesn’t want to celebrate. But here’s a Christmas episode anyway, and Joshua Alston will learn its true meaning.
American Horror Story (FX, 10 p.m.): With a witch hunter out and about and using silver bullets, Fiona’s pondering an alliance with Marie Laveau—but little does she know that Marie hired that witch hunter. Todd VanDerWerff might miss this show for the next few weeks. But he probably won’t, to be honest.
South Park (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): As we write this on Monday night, TV Guide has literally no information about the show’s season finale. We’re sure something’s leaked out there, but Ryan McGee prefers to imagine Trey Parker and Matt Stone frantically brainstorming ideas with 48 hours to air.
Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Look who’s here! It’s Anthony Mackie, one of those actors we keep hoping will break through into superstardom because he’s always so great in the supporting parts Hollywood finds for him. Sonia Saraiya supposes she’ll just have to be fine with him judging tonight’s episode.
Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): What’s been happening on this show since Gwen Ihnat last checked in on it last month? Well, whatever happened, it’s resulted in Deacon and Gunnar hosting an auxiliary show, which is one of those things you just don’t get enough of on television. Auxiliary shows forever!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Mad Men (1 p.m.): A young man named Adam turns up in New York, and he claims to have a most intriguing connection to Don. Is he telling the truth? Only Todd VanDerWerff knows. Okay, Todd VanDerWerff and lots of other people, because these episodes aired six years ago. Catch up, people!
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Naked And Afraid (Discovery, 7 p.m.): This isn’t actually a show about naked people being made to spend the night in a haunted house, but it should be! (No, we haven’t seen any of this, but we’ve been told by a bunch of people who know reality TV that it’s fun. Here’s a Christmas special to get on board!)
Monsters Inside Me (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): Animal Planet airs a couple new episodes of this show tonight, because it’s in a particularly festive mood. The second one is entitled “Maggots Are Eating Me,” which you can sing to the tune of “Adeste Fidelis” if you really want to. Go ahead. Try it. We’ll wait.
Duck Dynasty (A&E, 8 p.m.): The Robertsons put on a live nativity scene at their church, while some of them also have trouble picking out Christmas gifts for their wives. Scott Von Doviak hasn’t checked in on this show in a few months, so it’s probably time for him to take another look. But where are the ducks?
Kelly Clarkson’s Cautionary Christmas Music Tale (NBC, 10 p.m.): Kelly Clarkson stars in a Christmas special that doubles as a morality tale, and, honestly, it all sounds preposterous and weird. Which is exactly why Todd VanDerWerff will be reviewing it. Because we like to see if we can destroy his brain.
Life Of Pi (Cinemax, 7:45 p.m.): This Ang Lee film won several Oscars earlier in the year, including the award for Best Director. It did not, however, win the award for Best Performance by a Fake Tiger, which is one of those things you’d have figured it would be a shoo-in for. Ang Lee was really upset about that.
Every Which Way But Loose (Reelz, 8 p.m.): This movie is kind of like Life Of Pi. Just replace the tiger with an orangutan, the kid with Clint Eastwood, and the lifeboat with a semi truck, and you have pretty much the same movie when you think about it. The orangutan even drinks beer! What a movie!
NBA Basketball: Bulls at Knicks (ESPN, 8 p.m.): The Bulls are struggling after Derrick Rose’s latest injury, while the Knicks appear to be in absolute freefall. But, then, both teams are in the Eastern Conference, so they could probably make the playoffs by winning 10 games. Thrill as they stumble ever onward!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Tuesday): The last two episodes of this show received D+’s. Will David Sims find this episode an improvement over those ones? The TV Guide summary, at least, is working much harder, mentioning, as it does, someone called “the shadowy Centipede.” Insect supervillains!