Teen Wolf (MTV, 10 p.m.): We weren’t sure which way to go for the Top Pick tonight, but the choice was clear once we realized Teen Wolf will be flashing back to the days of fifteen year-old Derek Hale. He may not smolder as much as the 2013 model, but there is always the off-chance they’ll show us how old Stiles was when Derek was fifteen and we can all watch the #Sterek corner of the Internet grapple with its feelings. Phil Dyess-Nugent is just proud of us for figuring out what a “Sterek” is.
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Finn and Jake go undercover in the MO factory to figure out how to stop the BMO from malfunctioning. We hoped this would mean Jake and Finn stacking themselves on top of each other while wearing an impossibly long trench coat (classic), but Oliver Sava reminded us that that would be a pretty terrible MO disguise.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): Muscle Man gears up for a new diet by eating all his favorite foods one last time. When we asked ourselves what we would eat in such a situation, we realized it’d pretty much be toast. Alasdair Wilkins hopes Muscle Man has more interesting culinary priorities.
Switched At Birth (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): This episode promises everything from custody battles to political scandals to someone sending his mother on a blind date. We were all set to talk about how this means a perfect storm of mistaken identity shenanigans, but then we remembered that mistaken identity shenanigans is the very bedrock on which Switched at Birth was founded, so we’ll leave it to Carrie Raisler.
Under The Dome (CBS, 10 p.m.): The synopsis for tonight’s episode promises “unexpected visits from the other side of The Dome.” Scott von Doviak would contend that any visit from the other side of an impenetrable forcefield qualifies as “unexpected.”
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Justice League (1 p.m.): This week, a League gets transformed into children to deal with a magically adult-free world. Oliver Sava will be impressed if they can fit in some world-savin’ after all that baseball in the street and ice cream before dinner.
Scrubs (3 p.m.): The “butterfly effect” theory has been around for many years, but only 2004 let us see both Ashton Kutcher and Zach Braff deal with it. Myles McNutt’s convinced he’s only reviewing Scrubs because he took a left at that stop light instead of a right.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Breaking Pointe (The CW, 8 pm): When we first checked in on this CW reality show, it focused less on dancing and more on staged coffee shop conversations a la The Hills. We’re holding out hope that its second season goes more for CenterStage, so we’re sending Caroline Siede to the barre for an update.
The Bachelorette: Men Tell All (ABC, 8 pm): We’ll be straight with you—it’s a pretty dire night for new television that we’re not already covering. Just be advised that this is a thing, and it’s taking up a solid two hours of primetime. Navigate your televisions accordingly.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11 pm): John Oliver’s special brand of manic Brit energy is kind of crushing it over at The Daily Show lately, so it should be a treat to watch him interview Louis C.K., i.e. TV’s most reluctant and compelling talk show guest.
Comic-Con: All Access (Spike, 11 pm): Just in case Twitter didn’t keep you updated on just how many cool panels and people and gender-swapped cosplays you missed, Spike has teamed up with Zachary Levi (aka Benevolent Overlord of Nerd HQ) to taunt you about it.
The Mummy (AMC, 8 pm): It’s basically a rule at this point that cable stations spend half the summer airing The Mummy, but Rachel Weisz as an excitable librarian means we can never stop ourselves from watching it. Drink every time it’s much more racist than you remembered!*
(*Please don’t do this—we’d like it if you stuck around.)
MLB Baseball, Yankees vs. Rangers (ESPN, 7 pm): A Rod may or may not be back for this matchup, but more importantly, “Yankees vs. Rangers” sounds like a lost Walker Texas Ranger episode and that makes us laugh.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
True Blood (Sunday): Apparently it was a big night for Bon Temps, but since we don’t want to spoil it, we’ll just let you know that Carrie Raisler’s review includes the phrase, “soliloquies about owning her whore status.” Run, don’t walk!