Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, July 1. All times are Eastern.
Teen Wolf (MTV, 10 p.m.): In making the top pick for a Monday on one of the least-watched TV weeks of the year, it’s imperative that one choose something that will allow us to celebrate the wondrousness of American independence with the proper level of decorum and respect. Enter Teen Wolf, MTV’s third-season show about teen wolves that we have covered lo these many years. Phil Dyess-Nugent understands and accepts the responsibility of being top pick. Do you, Teen Wolf fans? Do you? Those who disagree will be sentenced to a whole week of playing the Sanctuary Woods “wolf simulator” Wolf.
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum travel to Wizard City to get medicine for an ill Starchy, and, sadly, we can’t figure out a way to make “Wizard City” fit into the rewrite of David Bowie’s “Suffragette City” we decided to do this very instant in honor of Oliver Sava.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): Country club jerks are jerks—surprise!—to Mordecai and Rigby, so the two swear to have their revenge. We imagine this involves lots of terrifying blood rituals and strange, dark magicks, but, then, we’ve never seen this show. Alasdair Wilkins tells us we’re right.
Switched At Birth (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Meanwhile, Angelo is becoming a member of a country club, which indicates that, hey, country club membership is a theme in tonight’s TV. Carrie Raisler hopes this turns into a thing where the people trapped in Under The Dome take time out to build a golf course.
Defiance (Syfy, 9 p.m.): Sadly, the episode description for this one doesn’t indicate anything in the way of someone playing golf or joining a social organization where people wear preppy clothes and sneer at the less fortunate, but that’s not going to stop Rowan Kaiser from doing just that in his review.
Under The Dome (CBS, 10 p.m.): A house catches fire, and nobody knows what to do because the fire department is trapped outside of the dome, which probably makes them wish they’d never installed the dome in the first place! Scott Von Doviak thinks maybe we’re missing the central point of this show.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The IT Crowd (11 a.m.): Moss joins a German cooking course, and we can assure you, having eaten a fair amount of it, that German cooking is fine—and probably better than British cuisine—but it’s also got far too many root vegetables for our taste. Caroline Framke could do without all of that cabbage as well.
Justice League (1 p.m.): “For The Man Who Has Everything” adapts one of the most famous Superman stories of all time, one that was, indeed, written by Alan Moore and drawn by Dave Gibbons, the team that would go on to do Watchmen. Oliver Sava already knew all of that, so he was busy ignoring us.
Scrubs (3 p.m.): Like New Girl’s Jess Day, at least in the misbegotten first half of the first season, Elliot turns out to have trouble saying the clinical names for genitalia, except it took a full three seasons to reveal this when she’s, y’know, a doctor. Myles McNutt has no problems saying coo-caw or gee-goo.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
The Goodwin Games (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): And with that, so comes an end to The Goodwin Games, the cast having scattered to the winds (well, Scott Foley over to Scandal) and the creators having returned to bring How I Met Your Mother to some sort of conclusion. We might weigh in on the series finale.
Gideon’s Army (HBO, 9 p.m.): A historical documentary profiles the man whose trial spurred the decision that provided all Americans with a public defender. So if you’re ever in a situation where you’re picked up for all those Jamba Juice robberies you’ve been committing, you’ll know whom to thank.
Below Deck (Bravo, 10 p.m.): People who work on a private luxury yacht are the latest subjects of a new Bravo reality series about the rich and/or famous. We’re just upset that Bravo didn’t agree to take us on a luxurious cruise of the Caribbean in an attempt to win a good review from us. So much for you, Bravo!
Siberia (NBC, 10 p.m.): NBC’s new scripted reality TV knockoff that aims to be sort of like Lost, only with more found footage horror stuff, debuts with the unfortunate reality of having to go up against newly crowned mega-hit Under The Dome. Alasdair Wilkins will let us know if this show has anything to it.
Take This Waltz (TMC, 8 p.m.): Not everyone liked this, Sarah Polley’s directorial follow-up to the highly acclaimed Away From Her, but we sure did, particularly Michelle Williams as a married woman contemplating having an affair. Seth Rogen is also good as her husband. Polley’s direction is assured.
Frances (Flix, 8:30 p.m.): If you are studied in the fine art of “actressing,” finding nothing more fun than following each year’s Oscar for Best Actress race, then you know that 1982’s battle between Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice and Jessica Lange in this is one of the great actress battles of all time.
MLB Baseball: Giants at Reds (ESPN, 7 p.m.): The Giants are trapped with a pitching rotation that’s seemed to almost completely fall apart, while the Reds are smack in the middle of one of baseball’s toughest divisions, stuck in third place even with a great record. And they’re behind the Pirates!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Killing (Sunday): Phil Dyess-Nugent assures us that this season of the show is actually pretty good, but we have our doubts. Has anyone been nearly convicted because they happened to have a T-shirt that was also worn by one of the victims in their abandoned warehouse? If not, we’re not interested.