A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire For Our Consideration
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

It’s Rumor Time: There’s a sketchy “Justice League” synopsis making the rounds

Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice
Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice

We’re still nine months out from the release of Justice League, the crown jewel in the gritty, heavy-metal tiara Warner Bros.’ DC movie universe has been constructing for itself out of smashed-up buildings and people yelling “Martha!” Plot details for the film are understandably being kept tightly under wraps, but a Singapore-based movie magazine claims to have the scoop, with F*** Magazine posting a “synopsis” for the upcoming film that’s making its rounds online.

Here’s the thing: Not to impugn F***’s credentials, but the synopsis—which is entirely unsourced—sounds like exactly what anybody could have written, based on Batman V. Superman and a working understanding of how movies works. It mentions that Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman are assembling a team to fight off world-shattering threats. (That’s from Batman V. Superman.) We know that Ezra Miller’s Flash, Jason Momoa’s Aquaman, and Ray Fisher’s Cyborg will be involved. (Courtesy of the Justice League trailer.) And we know that Jack Kirby villain Steppenwolf, who briefly appeared to take Lex Luthor on a magic carpet ride in a deleted scene from BvS, is likely to be the villain, and that he’s almost certainly working for his nephew Darkseid, whose minions and big flashy omega symbol were glimpsed in Batman’s weird-ass apocalypse dream in that same film.

The only new element in the F*** synopsis is the last bit, which suggests that Steppenwolf is charged with hunting down three powerful “artefacts” on Earth. Besides being the quest in pretty much every Zelda game, though, it’s also the kind of movie plot guess that’s incredibly easy to make. Zack Snyder has already hinted that the Mother Boxes—which share an origin with Steppenwolf, Darkseid, and Kirby’s other New Gods creations—have been floating around his universe, so it’s not exactly a big leap (or an official confirmation) to guess that they’ll have a big role in the upcoming film. (Bonus evidence: Steppenwolf is literally holding three bigass cubes in the cut scene in question.)

Meanwhile, F*** recent celebrated its seventh anniversary, according to its Facebook page. From that same source, the magazine is apparently dedicated to defying “traditional publishing by letting the pictures tell the story.” (The story in this case apparently being “We know how to crop out or remove the watermarks from Entertainment Weekly publicity shots.”)

Submit your Newswire tips here.