Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, December 3. All times are Eastern.
2 Broke Girls (CBS, 9 p.m.): There are so few shows we cover on Mondays—and particularly on Mondays as the holidays draw near—that it’s inevitable that two or three times per TV season, we will make 2 Broke Girls the top pick, and you’ll complain about how some other show should always be the top pick, and then you’ll make fun of us for covering it and/or make fun of Todd VanDerWerff for once liking it, the dumbass. Yet think of Pilot Viruet, our happy warrior, who soldiers into the no man’s land of racially tinged bad jokes and smutty bad jokes to report back on what Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs are forced to do this week. Think of her in your prayers this holiday season, as she needs her own guardian angel.
Misfits (Hulu, 5 p.m.): Look, we know it was just the “top pick” a couple of weeks ago, but this episode features a wild house party at which the gang is stalked by a killer rabbit. Rowan Kaiser thinks that not making this episode the top pick is a dereliction of duties, and we should hand in our badges and leave.
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Finn receives a bag full of miniature versions of his friends, in an episode that sounds almost like a riff on that Twilight Zone episode that ended with all of the little people being toys. Or not. Oliver Sava thinks we’re making a big stretch in suggesting that.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.): While Robin attempts to have one last fling with Barney, a fling that we all know will end up being substantially more, Ted decides to play nanny for Marshall and Lily’s son. Donna Bowman’s sad this wasn’t the original premise, so it could be called Ted Mosby Is My Manny.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): The bird thing and the raccoon thing decide to destroy a gift in order to save Christmas. Alasdair Wilkins once had to destroy a gift to save Christmas, but that was back when he worked for the CTU, and the “gift” was a shipping container carrying a nuclear bomb!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Batman: The Animated Series (1 p.m.): Our super-villain this week is the Ventriloquist, and Oliver Sava knows just how Batman feels. When he puts on his own superheroing costume, Oliver lives to beat back the forces of Jeff Dunham and all the other shitty stand-up ventriloquists he’s inspired. And kill puppets.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Top 40 Of 2012 (Fuse, 7 p.m.): The music station is the first to offer up a top 40 countdown for the whole year, even though we’ve got 28 days left of this shit, and you never know when Carly Rae Jepsen might record some new sensation. We ask you, readers: What’s your favorite song of the year?
90210 (The CW, 8 p.m.): The only series on network television our dumbass TV editor, Todd VanDerWerff, has never seen an episode of reaches its 100th episode, and he still can’t tell you what an AnnaLynne McCord is. We thought about forcing him to watch, but we are a benevolent daily feature.
American Chopper (Discovery, 9 p.m.): Another milestone is reached, as this reality show, one of the first of the big boom of workplace reality series that arrived in the middle of last decade, goes off the air after nearly 10 years on the air. We have our fingers crossed it ends with a last-minute wedding!
Blake Shelton’s Not-So-Family Christmas (NBC, 10 p.m.): That incorrigible scamp, Blake Shelton, promises a “not-so-family” Christmas special, which we can only assume entails him screaming the word “fuck” 500 times, then preparing a human sacrifice to the dark lord Baphomet. Send us a screener, NBC!
Orca (IFC, 8 p.m.): A small village is harassed by a killer killer whale, and Richard Harris and Charlotte Rampling try to figure out a way to say “killer killer whale” without sounding silly in this 1977 “classic” that you could say was “inspired” by Jaws, in that it’s a direct ripoff with English people and a mammal.
Contagion (HBO, 9 p.m.): Steven Soderbergh and a crack ensemble cast examine what might happen if a killer virus cut its way through the world population in this surprise hit. The answer to that hypothetical, by the way, is that not a lot that was good would happen, and things would go very badly for a few of us.
Monday Night Football: Giants at Redskins (ESPN, 8:30 p.m.): The defending Super Bowl champion Giants lead their division by a somewhat comfortable margin, while the Redskins occasionally seem like they’re going to be awesome, then settle back into mediocrity. So, really, anything can happen.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Dexter (Sunday): Dexter Morgan has carried around the idea of his Dark Passenger for so long that it’s sort of thrilling to see him question whether it’s an actual reality or if he should take responsibility for his actions, even if it’s somewhat clumsily brought up. Joshua Alston lets you know the whole scoop.