A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Undercover: The Day Of The Dead The Hi-Lo Food Show
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Wiki Wormhole What's On Tonight
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Japanese fans deem the new Godzilla too fat, in continued sizeism toward giant monsters

While many assumed that the delayed reveal of Godzilla in the new, Americanized Godzilla trailers was just a clever marketing strategy, designed to keep you in suspense as to whether this Godzilla movie might have Godzilla in it, there may have been another explanation for the monster’s reticence. He’s just ashamed at how fat he’s gotten—a weight gain that was singled out, then immediately ridiculed by the Japanese as part of that culture’s long history of criticizing American waistlines, all because they luxuriate in eating rich foods, populations, and buildings.

“He’s so fat, I laughed,” wrote one user at Japanese forum 2ch, who’s clearly never felt the sting of sizeist comments from the people he’s crushing. “That’s what happens when all you do is eat and lay around,” wrote another, once again perpetuating hurtful stereotypes about radioactive ocean monsters. 

Dozens more continued to pile on, all contributing to a culture that has created an unattainable body image our giant lizards can never reach unless they starve themselves—some eating as little as one city a day. Many more are driven to bulimia, gorging themselves on villagers just to puke them up later in a spew of shame and fire.

Even more unfairly, these Japanese fans don’t seem to take into account that the new, Americanized Godzilla is also the tallest Godzilla ever at around 350 feet, and as such his weight is perfectly healthy for his size. Also, they aren’t monster doctors, so Godzilla doesn’t have to listen to them.

Anyway, it’s possible the issue could be addressed more explicitly in a sequel, in which Mothra arrives to fat-shame Godzilla to his face, and Godzilla counters that it’s easy for him to say, because he’s a fucking moth. Flying burns tons of calories.

Submit your Newswire tips here.