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Jay Leno: Let Them Eat ButtCream

The Jay-Walking, Headlines, & Things You Are Comfortable With Extravaganza, With Jay Leno

For months now, Americans have been sitting up straight in bed in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, wondering what would become of Jay Leno's famous Tonight Show minimal-effort laugh throttlers, "Morons" and "Misspellings Found In Local Supermarket Circulars" when Leno moves to 10pm every single goddamn night of the week. Would Leno drag those time-tested, beloved groaners to his new 10pm timeslot fiefdom? Or would he go to The Container Store, buy a bunch of flat Rubbermaid sweater boxes, place those antique comedy bits inside, and roll the boxes underneath his car bed, where they would sit for all eternity alongside the mummified remains of all 12 of the Judge Ito Dancers?  

Well, when NBC revealed their new fall schedule yesterday, Leno gave a worried public an answer. The people stormed NBC's door, starving, complaining that there was little comedy to be found at 10pm on weeknights, and Leno stepped out on his balcony, waved to the hungry crowd gathered below and shouted, "Let them eat ButtCream!"


To think, there's probably a "Possible 'Headlines' for Promo" list on an NBC archives intern's laptop in Burbank somewhere that is the result of hours and hours of research, and the only things on it are "Cox/Dix Wedding" "$0.99 ButtCream Cupcakes" and "1lb. Assaulted Peanuts."