With all the money Roland Emmerich is saving by cutting back on needless Will Smith extravagances, he can afford to buy all sorts of things for his Independence Day sequel: A White House constructed entirely out of Swarovski crystals, each exploded shard dancing in the light. Fabergé spaceships. A higher class of strippers. Randy Quaid’s continued silence. And most importantly, Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum, whose participation in the sequel scheduled for July 3, 2015 was presumed but not yet official, until Emmerich confirmed both will return to battle the aliens who come rudely clomping through, just when the Earth finally got everything all cleaned up and its landmarks looking nice again. Emmerich hasn’t offered any specific details on how either factor into the plot, though it’s assumed Pullman will once more be called upon to offer a speech that can rally our modern civilization (“Fuck a bunch of aliens. #swag #YOLO”), while Goldblum will again use his technological expertise to upload Apple Maps to the alien mothership, sending them to the distant rings of Saturn looking for a Subway that’s supposed to be here.
Submit your Newswire tips here.