A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire Random Roles
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Jennifer Connelly and Saoirse Ronan will also be in Darren Aronofsky's Noah

Paramount's big franchise guru Adam Goodman talked to The Hollywood Reporter about all the big franchises he's totally guru-ed and—in addition to confirming that Shia LaBeouf won't be back for the next Transformers and that the studio is really working on a Top Gun 2 with Tom Cruise, really—he mentioned some stuff that you'd maybe also already heard but which had not yet been made official. Namely, that Darren Aronofsky's Bible-epic-minus-the-Bible Noah is going to be really, really big with a "tremendous scale," that it will be rated PG-13 (suggesting Noah's naked-in-the-tent scene and all the ensuing incest may be mostly implied), and that Russell Crowe will, as rumored, be joined by Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream star Jennifer Connelly and Saoirse Ronan. Goodman didn't elaborate as to whom they might play, although we'll go ahead and predict that Saoirse Ronan will be the sad unicorn left behind, and that Connelly will play the part of Mrs. Noah, who helped her husband organize the animals on the Ark—notably by arranging the donkeys ass-to-ass. Has anyone made that joke already? Yeah, we don't care.

Submit your Newswire tips here.