Jeremy Piven may need to yell at Jeremy Piven to make the Entourage movie happen 

Jeremy Piven may need to yell at Jeremy Piven to make the Entourage movie happen 

As the world’s Vegas weekend remains on hold—private jets and ludicrously attractive Vanity Fair reporters just idling on the runway, while we all wait to see if Vince is doing the movieThe Hollywood Reporter now claims the delay is due to Jeremy Piven, whose demands for greater compensation have created the sort of studio problem that Jeremy Piven would typically yell at, then do on-screen yoga for no discernible reason.

Entourage fans may recall—aided, as always, by the fact that there’s really not much story to remember—that Mark Wahlberg had said “guys being greedy” was the main stumbling block to making his “guys being greedy” movie. Shortly thereafter, Adrian Grenier confirmed his inability to separate insufferable reality from insufferable fiction, asserting Vince would only do the movie if his bros could share in the imaginary success. Similarly, Jerry "Turtle" Ferrara then said he would do it for free—an offer producers are still no doubt considering, depending on whether Turtle will also agree that crafts services are for the paid actors and extras. And most recently, Kevin Connolly asserted to TMZ that the movie will begin shooting in January, an assertion everyone immediately ignored, because shut up, E. Surely there’s a cell phone you could be making exasperated noises into somewhere.

Meanwhile, Kevin Dillon made eggs and told an anecdote about hanging out with Ian Ziering, successfully killing at least two minutes of screen time. 

But, as THR’s report and everyone who has ever watched Entourage says, none of these actors matter as much as Jeremy Piven, who currently stands to make more money than all of them, to their vocal consternation. Piven, as he has since the show’s debut in 2004, continues to have a “more lucrative” deal owing to his relative celebrity, and the fact that he won three straight Emmys for outstanding achievement in making a show intermittently watchable. Unfortunately, Piven’s demands—and Warner Bros.’ refusal to throw away anything more than $30 million on an Entourage movie, like a terrible gambler setting a dollar limit before heading to the slots—have created an impasse among the other actors, whose ideas regarding their own fame remain permanently warped by years of starring on Entourage.

Nevertheless, expect some agreement to be reached and everything to work out, after Jeremy Piven finally gets Jeremy Piven in a room and insinuates that he’s gay, as most industry problems are resolved.

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