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Jersey Shore’s The Situation indicted on tax fraud just in time for summer, baby

Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC Images
Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC Images

Jersey Shore star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has been hit with multiple charges of tax fraud, the Associated Press says, including allegations of tax evasion, filing bogus tax reports, and falsifying records. It’s a stunning rash of indictments that could spell serious legal trouble for Sorrentino and his brother and business partner, Marc Sorrentino, while also serving as a reminder that summer’s almost here, baby! The shore!! It’s T-shirt time!!!!!!

The Sorrentinos had previously been indicted in 2014 over charges of filing fraudulent tax returns on the approximately $8.9 million The Situation had earned from his whirlwind years of celebrity stemming from the MTV series, a halcyon era when America briefly fell in love with the unapologetically self-centered antics of tanned assholes, back when that only had mostly cultural ramifications. The Situation parlayed his most beloved traits—taking his shirt off, saying “situation” a lot—into a series of lucrative deals, including endorsements for GNC vitamins and a protein-infused muscle vodka, and cash offers from Abercrombie & Fitch to please stop wearing its clothes. It was a simpler, golden time—nothing but beaches, nightclubs, and the occasional lawsuit for breach of contract.

Yeahhhhh buddy! Clubbing it up! Gym, Tan, Laundry! Failing to divulge a stint in alcohol rehab before agreeing to become the spokesman for a liquor brand! Grenades!

In order to fully ride the endless gravy train that is reality TV stardom, the Sorrentino brothers set up the businesses MPS Entertainment LLC and Situation Nation, which the Department of Justice now says they used to claim fraudulent deductions and disguise income from the government. The DOJ also claims that the Sorrentinos regularly dipped into these business bank accounts to pay for “high-end luxury vehicles and clothing.” Yeahhhh baby! That’s how we do in Jersey! We keep it fresh to death, then we make multiple deposits in several bank accounts to evade reporting requirements while falsifying records so as to avoid a grand jury investigation!

Hey, remember when The Situation tried to call a cab, but they didn’t understand his name was The Situation, and no one had yet accused him of a criminal conspiracy?

Anyway, if convicted, The Situation faces a statutory maximum of 10 years in prison for each structuring count and five years for the tax evasion count, plus “a period of supervised release, restitution and monetary penalties.” His brother Marc faces a maximum 20-year sentence for obstruction. They are due to be arraigned on April 17. Just in time for summer, baby!

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