As anyone who has ever read anything about J.J. Abrams knows, every word written on the director is merely a rambling prelude to someone making a joke about lens flares. Often these jests are little more than the words “lens flare” delivered as a punchline unto itself, as it’s the sort of clever, cutting observation that requires no unwieldy elaboration or insight—an elegant weapon, like the lightsabers Abrams will probably put lens flares all over in Star Wars, because lens flares. J.J. Abrams stands in the silence, and a bird asks mockingly, “Poo-tee-lens flare?” All there is to say is “lens flare.”
Anyway, suggesting that making jokes about J.J. Abrams and lens flares has finally reached a point of oversaturation—unlike the washed-out scenes in J.J. Abrams movies, where he uses all the lens flare—even J.J. Abrams has begun joking about J.J. Abrams and lens flare. “I know I get a lot of grief for that," Abrams tells Crave Online. "But I'll tell you, there are times when I'm working on a shot, I think, 'Oh this would be really cool… with a lens flare.' But I know it's too much, and I apologize. I’m so aware of it now.” Abrams said some of that awareness even came from his wife (When did Abrams marry the Internet?), saying, “I was showing my wife an early cut of Star Trek Into Darkness and there was this one scene where she was literally like, 'I just can't see what's going on. I don't understand what that is.' I was like, 'Yeah, I went too nuts on this.’” Abrams did not say that he thought his wife’s lens flare observation was hilarious, though that is certainly implied.
Abrams also said that he had to ask ILM to remove the lens flare from a couple of shots—“which is moronic”—and concludes, as appropriately humbled as someone in his position can be, “I think admitting you're an addict is the first step towards recovery.” Sobering words delivered with a hope for a brighter future, one that will be totally obscured by lens flare. Ha ha, “lens flare.”
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