Having discovered a bare space in her home alarmingly not blanketed by money, J.K. Rowling has announced plans to create a prequel to her enormously successful Harry Potter series that she never would have ended, had she known it would be so drafty this winter. But unlike that other, tangential big-screen prequel she’s working on, Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them, this one is headed for the stage, and it will actually feature Harry Potter—a young, normal, non-magical Harry Potter, whom the play will follow as he grows up unloved in his aunt and uncle’s house, all while definitely not doing any magic.
In a statement, Rowling said she hoped to “explore the previously untold story of Harry's early years as an orphan and outcast”—years that were until now only alluded to, because they were dull and depressing. But now they will form the basis of a new stage play that will, like prequels to Star Wars and soon Batman before it, fulfill every fan’s wish to see more of their favorite characters, by letting them see what they were like as sad little kids. The play is as yet untitled, though should be called Harry Potter And The Tiny Room Where He Felt Bad.