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Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert aren't going anywhere for a while

All but confirming that they plan to keep Jon Stewart tethered to his glowing desk until he fuses with it like Annie Ross in Superman III, Comedy Central today announced that they have renewed The Daily Show host's contract through the middle of 2015, or his sixteenth season. At the same time, the network locked down Stephen Colbert through the end of 2014 and a ninth season of The Colbert Report. This ensures that both will be around to make fun of a good portion of Barack Obama's second term, the first few years of Mitt Romney's administration, or whatever we're conquered by in the early months of 2013, such as giant undersea worms. (They'll have it coming.) 

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