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Joseph Fiennes cast as Clavius, Jesus-hunting detective

Who’s the Roman centurion guy
Out to learn if resurrection is a lie?

You’re damn right.

Who’s played by Joseph Fiennes,
Looking for the guy who turned water into wine?

Can ya dig it?

LD Entertainment and Waterworld director Kevin Reynolds hope you can, because Clavius is the titular protagonist of their newly announced “first-century epic thriller,” about a Roman soldier tasked by Pontius Pilate with investigating claims of resurrection by followers of known criminal figure Jesus Christ.

As reported by Deadline, the plot of the latest in an increasingly long line of Jesus-related projects reads like Jesus Noir, with Clavius (an original character with no Biblical origin) hitting up the Apostles for information and trying to track down the wayward Messiah’s corpse. There are also a lot of suggestions about Clavius’ lack of faith being put to the test—which sounds kind of boring, but we’re sure they’ll stick to Raymond Chandler’s old adage for keeping a mystery interesting: “When in doubt, have a man come through a door with a crucifix in his hands.”

The film will co-star Tom “Please stop calling me Draco Malfoy” Felton in an as-yet unnamed role, and, in a classy move, is set to debut during Easter weekend 2015.

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