Joss Whedon endorses Romney as candidate most likely to cause a zombie apocalypse

Joss Whedon endorses Romney as candidate most likely to cause a zombie apocalypse

This close to the 2012 presidential election, most of the significant endorsements from unions, politicians, publications, and especially celebrities have already been made. But apart from vocally supporting progressive causes and President Obama, and donating to his campaign, Joss Whedon has largely remained silent on the big issues. Which has left the important, potentially undecided People Who Worship The Guy Who Created Buffy The Vampire Slayer And Directed The Avengers And By The Way, Where’s Firefly??? voter bloc adrift at sea, with no idea how to vote.

Fortunately, Whedon broke his lack of silence last night with a helpful video in the form of a standard pandering “talkin’ directly to the voters in a reasonable, measured tone” political ad, in this case endorsing Mitt Romney as the candidate most likely to bring about the zombie apocalypse. “Romney is ready to make the deep rollbacks—in health care, education, social services, reproductive rights—that will guarantee poverty, unemployment, overpopulation, disease, rioting. All crucial elements in creating a nightmare zombie wasteland,” he says in the video. “But it's his commitment to ungoverned corporate privilege that will nosedive this economy into true insolvency and chaos.”

There’s more, about the importance of hoarding canned goods, learning parkour, and avoiding Ayn Rand fans, and the question of whether we’ll be facing 28 Days Later fast zombies if Romney is elected, or the George A. Romero slow-inevitability-of-death kind. But the primary message is that Romney’s policies would be disastrous for America, particularly for its inhabitants’ tasty, vulnerable brains. That said, if Romney gets elected and the zombie apocalypse does happen, and assuming Joss Whedon is a good runner and doesn’t get eaten too early, wouldn’t a Whedon series about the zombie apocalypse, starring Nathan Fillion’s eviscerated, reanimated corpse, be pretty cool?