Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, January 7. All times are Eastern.
Cougar Town/Justified/Intelligence/Killer Women (TBS/FX/CBS/ABC, 10 p.m./10 p.m./9 p.m./10 p.m.): How can we be certain that television is back to stay (until high-profile events like the Olympics and the Oscars scare all but the cable networks away)? Tonight’s insanely packed schedule is one good indication, crowded with resuming series, returning favorites, and a pair of midseason oddities that charmed and befuddled Zack Handlen and Sonia Saraiya in equal measure. Alasdair Wilkins and Erik Adams, respectively, found the Cul-De-Sac Crew and people of Harlan County continuing their wacky lives apace—we’ll see if Alasdair agrees when his Justified review goes live post-air.
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 8 p.m.): Agent Coulson learns more about where he spent his post-Norse-god-stabbing vacation. For more information on Tahiti, Oliver Sava recommends contacting your neighborhood travel agent.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): Captain Holt has to find a home for two puppies, but Molly Eichel has some ideas. Specifically “In every shot with Andre Braugher until the end of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.”
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): Flashback episode! Erik Adams really hopes the Fat Schmidt suit is aired out between uses, because Max Greenfield has to spend a lot of time in that thing.
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): Mindy asks for fitness pointers from Danny, pointers Gwen Ihnat suspects involve nothing but barbell curls performed to the beat of The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle.
Trophy Wife (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): Pete celebrates a milestone birthday. To celebrate, Brandon Nowalk ordered a cake featuring Bradley Whitford’s “little weasel laugh” face from Billy Madison.
Person Of Interest (CBS, 10 p.m.): A lack of Reese puts the POI team at a muscular disadvantage—perhaps Phil Dyess-Nugent and his typing fingers of steel could be of assistance?
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Doomsday Preppers (National Geographic, 8 p.m.): The first of two Doomsday Preppers premiering tonight is titled “Nobody Will Be Ready.” Clearly whoever’s responsible for that title didn’t visit a Midwestern grocery store prior to the polar vortex’s weekend descent.
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): “Who’s In The Box?” the show’s midseason premiere asks. “Who’s in the box?” Brad Pitt’s character from Seven replies—over and over again, a meme futilely meme-ing away in its own echo chamber.
100 Days Of Summer (Bravo, 10 p.m.): A new docuseries so titled because the young, pretty things it chronicles have but 100 days to achieve their ambitious goals before another Windy City winter forces them indoors. Clearly, the scheduling gods have a sense of humor.
Escaping The Prophet (TLC, 10 p.m.): Sons Of Perdition, the documentary about young men exiled from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is one of the most harrowing experiences What’s On Tonight has ever had in a movie theater. So this limited-run show about FLDS members taking flight promises to be the feel-good watch of the season.
The Natural (Starz, 6:35 p.m.): Only a few more months until spring training—and Major League sluggers’ 30th consecutive season of attempting to knock the stitching off a ball like Roy Hobbs in The Natural.
On The Waterfront (TCM, 8 p.m.): Have class. Be a contender. Be somebody. Watch the Elia Kazan classic in which Marlon Brando could’ve had class and could’ve been a contender. Instead of a bum, which is what he plays in the movie.
NBA Basketball: Suns at Bulls (WGN, 8 p.m.): The only Sun capable of having any lasting effect in Chicago this week is one who usually plays basketball in Phoenix.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Hostages: Ladies and gentlemen of the Internet, please give a hearty round of applause to Sonia Saraiya, a bold survivor who reviewed every episode of Hostages—and then endured a two-hour finale event. We salute you for your service, Sonia. Now let us never speak of Hostages again.