Confirming long-held fears about the anything-goes hedonism of the music industry, TMZ published photos over the weekend in which Justin Bieber appears to be smoking marijuana—a drug about which we know our young pop stars might be curious, but we just wish they'd come to us with questions first. Yet even before the proper pamphlets could be deployed, Bieber has already done plenty to convince us he's not just going to drop out and spend all day smoking his pot drugs. Indeed, he spent the weekend attempting to assuage the many fans who are now rightly worried he's headed straight for a marijuana overdose, beginning with issuing this vague apology/acknowledgement that he'd disappointed them: "I see all of u. i hear all of u. i never want to let any of you down. i love u. and..thank u. #beliebers," Bieber said, a statement that only those in sober possession of their full mental faculties would craft.
Shortly thereafter, Bieber visited a leukemia-stricken 7-year-old fan who was unable to attend his Salt Lake City concert, posting this photo in which Bieber refrained from fashioning the girl into a makeshift bong. And finally, Bieber debuted to the world this Native American head he'd had tattooed on his shoulder, as a nod to the Stratford Cullitons ice hockey team and to his own clear thinking. Despite these noble efforts, he still runs the risk of being convicted in the court of public opinion, then grounded, though it's likely Bieber will avoid any criminal charges this time, mostly thanks to his Canadian diplomatic immunity—until, of course, he runs across a couple of loose cannon American detectives who declare it revoked. Then, when it's too late, maybe he'll think twice about being a marijuana addict, doing his marijuana.
Send your Newswire tips to email@example.com