In case you didn’t hear about it from his best friends, buildings, Kanye West’s Yeezus has leaked to the Internet, downtown, fashion, and culture—all of which West was recently put in charge of. And as you might imagine, Twitter is currently hard at work deconstructing and transcribing its favorite lines, clearly unafraid that an upset Kanye might just decide turn the Internet off today. Anyway, it’s pretty early, but—despite some stiff competition from “Star Wars fur, yeah I’m rockin’ Chewbacca,” and “Eating Asian pussy, all I need is sweet and sour sauce”—it seems everyone has agreed with some of those early predictions and already declared a winner: “Hurry up with my damn croissants,” a lyric that manages to pull all the focus, even in a song where Kanye flat out declares himself a god.
Perhaps it’s the way the line so perfectly captures how Kanye is Steve Jobs now, always innovating new ways to ask for breakfast pastries. (Steve Jobs might have politely waited; Steve Jobs is dead.) Perhaps it’s the universally relatable nature of it: Indeed, hurry up with all our damn croissants. THIS IS AMERICA, FRENCHY, and we’re tired of your constant laissez-faire croissant games. Or perhaps the croissant is but a metaphor for all the promises of this life—so golden on the outside, so hollow on the inside—that we spitefully demand to just hurry up and disappoint us already, so we can get through them and back to the dopeness. Or maybe we’re just happy to not be hearing about “cronuts” right now. Whatever the reason, “Hurry up with my damn croissants” is the rallying cry of a new nation. An impatient, buttery nation.
Send your Newswire tips to email@example.com