Ke$ha Not Even Sure What Ke$ha Is

Ke$ha Not Even Sure What Ke$ha Is

Yikes.

For months now, I've assumed that this thing known as Kedollarsignha is what happens when we allow a feral child to be raised by discarded Fergie singles and a helium tank. Though it pains me to say this, I was wrong. This thing known as Ke$ha i$ not a feral child raised by inanimate objects in a cave lined with tin foil somewhere. In fact, after watching her "disco awkardness in space?" performance of "The Song From The Back-Up Plan Commercials" on SNL this weekend, it's clear that Ke$ha is the exact opposite of a feral child—she's an overgrown child beauty pageant contestant who has been led to believe that the world is one big Wow Wear competition.

How else can you explain this?      

It's painfully clear even Ke$ha has no idea what Ke$ha is.

Notice her many glances to the side of the stage, her general disconnect from the performance, and that panicked look on her face right before she approaches the ridiculous laser keyboard—Ke$ha might as well be a contestant on Toddlers & Tiaras. If the camera pulled back, we would probably see an over-zealous record executive miming the routine at the back of the room just in case Ke$ha gets lost.

Also, if there's one line in that song that doesn't need to be stripped of a backing track and heard on its own it's: "Did anyone ever stop to think, maybe we are the aliens?" Unless the whole point of this was to embarrass Ke$ha so much we start to feel sorry for her and give her the title of Mini-Miss Grand Supreme anyway.