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Kristen Stewart may as well be in the live-action Akira remake

Kristen Stewart, the ghost of that quiet girl from art class who killed herself and that people swear can sometimes be glimpsed in movies, has reportedly been offered a role in the live-action remake of Akira that’s still building steam over at Warner Bros., who is waiting for the whistle that lets it know its big kettle of Celestial Seasonings authentic Japanese green tea is ready for sleepytime. As we’ve been reporting for months now, the Americanized version of the popular manga has aimed squarely for strip-mall sushi buffet authenticity by bringing in director Jaume Collett-Sera and Tron Legacy star Garrett Hedlund, so hearing that Kristen Stewart may play Hedlund’s love interest, Kei, is sort of like hearing that Tuesday night is also all-you-can-eat Philadelphia rolls. It’s like, it’s neither going to be surprisingly delicious nor so horrible that it will give you a really great food poisoning story, but now there’s even more blandness to fill up on here.

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