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Latest sign of impending apocalypse: Clear-knee mom jeans

Photo: Nordstrom
Photo: Nordstrom

As anyone who wears jeans knows (so, nearly all of us), jeans attract their share of wear and tear, especially around the knees. Especially if you’re a mom, apparently crawling after your errant children through a dirt path sprinkled with broken glass and random nuts and bolts. What’s a somewhat fashionable mom to do?

We’re not sure, but we’re just trying to piece together the possible thinking behind this latest fashion monstrosity from Top Shop by way of Nordstrom (c’mon, Nordstrom, we were really rooting for you), with the recent introduction of the “clear knee mom jean.” The retail website describes these $95 pants thusly: “Slick plastic panels bare your knees for a futuristic feel in tapered and cropped high-waist jeans.” Oh, it’s futuristic, all right. Like some kind of dystopian nightmare.

You might think that this strange Jetson-esque item of clothing has barely made a ripple, as there are only a few comments on the Nordstrom sire at this writing (get to it, commenters!), but they’re all pretty funny:

  • “I bought these for my wife, who was cutting her designer jeans and lining them with Saran wrap for a similar look. Finally, a great time saver!”
  • No more lonely kneecaps! Sometimes I wonder how my kneecaps are doing under my pants. This is the perfect solution! Also come in handy for when you need a tan solely on the knee area.”

But not to worry, social media is always there to fill in the space where snarky comments should reside. Buzzfeed has already corralled a few of the best, most of which rightly point to these pants as a clear (ha) sign of the end times:

And some pointed to the obvious dangers associated with the jeans:

And at least one savvy fashionista pointed to a possible clear-knee-associated party game:

If you do want to order these (for the worst Halloween costume ever, say), you may want to hurry: We have a feeling these might be completely disappearing from the Nordstrom website soon. But what do we know: Maybe plastic sleeves are next!

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