Image-conscious person Lindsay Lohan has made good on last year’s threats against the makers of Grand Theft Auto V, filing a lawsuit over its vain, vapid, scandal-ridden celebrity character Lacey Jonas—a character whose risible attributes, Lohan claims in a lawsuit filed on public record, are clearly modeled on her own. In the game, Lacey Jonas is found hiding in alleyway, asking for help evading the paparrazi; during the drive, she moans about how hard it is to be famous, complains about how she doesn’t need “any more lawsuits,” talks about breaking off contact with her “lame” family, makes it clear that she’s anorexic, and brags about how all of her fans could fill “the country of Africa, wherever that is.” Lohan now seeks to make it clear in a court of law that this self-involved idiot is an “unequivocal” representation of her.
Furthermore, the suit claims that the Lacey character wears clothes that are modeled on Lohan’s own, including an “ensemble in the form of hats, hair style, sunglasses, jean shorts worn by [Lohan]”—clothing that is inextricably associated with her. (It’s why every time your dad wears jean shorts you can’t help but remark, “Wow, dad, you look just like Lindsay Lohan!”) Also mentioned in the suit is the game’s Gentry Manor Hotel, a stand-in for the Chateau Marmont Hotel where Lohan was banned after racking up an unpaid $46,000 bill. Should the lawsuit proceed, presumably Lohan hopes that this will also be recounted for the legal record.
Neither Take-Two Interactive nor Rockstar Games has yet to comment on the lawsuit, though it’s expected that it will be dismissed on the grounds that “Lacey Jonas” is a fictional amalgam created as obvious parody. And also that “Lacey Jonas” is meant to be a successful “rom-com starlet,” and therefore clearly not Lindsay Lohan.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org