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Living reality show Lindsay Lohan will finally star in actual reality show

Having emerged from the chrysalis of her clothes to become a tastefully nude butterfly, then cathartically abandoned the onus of being in actual movies, Lindsay Lohan is now free to pursue the final stage of celebrity rebirth. She’s signed on to star in a reality show—or technically, “eight-part documentary series,” as serious subjects require documentaries—in which she will symbolically purge her sins before Oprah Winfrey, the world’s cashmere-clad moment of clarity. Winfrey’s OWN network will air an interview between her and Lohan that’s to be taped in August, just as Lohan emerges from rehab, then 2014 will see the debut of the as-yet-unnamed show following Lohan as she “works to rebuild her career and stay healthy”—the two things that are most closely associated with reality-TV stardom.  

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