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Malaysian Islamists force Adam Lambert to stop kissing boys

The Pan Malaysian Islamic Party (not as much fun as it sounds) has forced American Idol sparklebear Adam Lambert to ease up on the homoerotic imagery in his live show, following the group’s demands that authorities cancel his upcoming appearance entirely because it promotes “gay culture.” A rep for concert organizers has said that Lambert (like Gwen Stefani and Fergie before him) has promised to adhere to restrictions regarding his wardrobe, as well as avoid “stripping and jumping”—jumping apparently being a gateway to joy, which is a synonym of “happiness,” which is a symptom of being gay. Most importantly, Lambert agreed to not kiss anyone onstage, something Lambert called a “tough decision,” saying, “It's something I'm doing out of respect. It's just one little thing. Man kissing another man is something that government really doesn't appreciate." (Well, as long as you’re not compromising your principles…) Fortunately the Malaysian government has yet to any restrictions pertaining to beach rampages, and Malaysia has some reportedly awesome beaches to just freak the fuck out on.

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