Cursed by gypsies to never stop acting lest he be condemned to a lifetime of Funky Bunch casino gigs, Mark Wahlberg continues to attach himself to projects with feverish desperation, each contract another paper-thin wall between himself and learning the lyrics to “Super Cool Mack Daddy” again. The list of films Wahlberg is currently said to be either producing or starring in includes Seth MacFarlane’s Ted, the adaptation of Uncharted, a sequel to The Fighter, the action-comedy Bait And Switch, Contraband, The Raven, and Broken City, and now he’s reportedly added two more: Variety says Wahlberg is producing and potentially starring in When Corruption Was King, about a Chicago mob lawyer who turns state’s evidence, while The Tracking Board [via /Film] says Wahlberg will also produce and possibly star in a remake of 1971’s Billy Jack.
The latter—the story of a Native American ex-Green Beret who’s also a master of martial arts and a skilled gunslinger—has been bandied about for a rehash for a while, with Keanu Reeves at one time interested in taking over the role. Should Wahlberg now become Billy Jack, it seems even likelier that most of the film’s “plight of the Native Americans” angle would be dropped, not to mention the very post-Vietnam War story of Billy Jack defending a school run by “hippies,” and so on. So presumably it would become a more straightforward story about a man who preaches peace while kicking people in the face—which once again leads one to wonder why they’re even bothering to call it Billy Jack (particularly as the original film has a cult following, but doesn’t have much mainstream recognition) when they could just call it Sgt. Facekicker or something. Anyway, Mark Wahlberg obviously doesn’t have time to think about such matters, as the blood-stained sand in the hourglass continues to fall, and those far-off moans of “Come on, swing it” grow ever louder.