A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Great Job, Internet! Top 5
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Martin Scorsese hires Liam Neeson to bring Christianity to Japan, right in their face

Martin Scorsese’s long-gestating Silence has added Liam Neeson to an already-confirmed cast that includes Andrew Garfield, Ken Watanabe, Adam Driver, and the moaning spirit of a jilted Leonardo DiCaprio, causing the klieg lights to flicker as an expression of jealousy over being left out. Neeson will take time from his schedule of being mildly annoyed by hostage scenarios in movies like Taken 3 and Non-Stop, heading to Taiwan to film Scorsese's story of 17th-century Jesuits who try bringing Christianity to the hostile Japanese. Well, perhaps they’ll be more amenable to Christ’s love when Liam Neeson is ramming it down their fucking throats.  

Submit your Newswire tips here.