Merry Christmas! Here are some finales
Clockwise from top left: Elementary, The Big Bang Theory, The Vampire Diaries, and Reign
Clockwise from top left: Elementary, The Big Bang Theory, The Vampire Diaries, and Reign

Merry Christmas! Here are some finales

Also: It’s not really Christmas!

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, May 15. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK
A Whole Bunch Of Finales (CBS/The CW/ABC, 8 p.m., 9 p.m., and 10 p.m.):
EVERYTHING IS ENDING. Okay, not everything, but many things, most of which are in the CBS family of networks. The last major network to observe the September to May television season closes out this week, and that means closing up shop for Sherlock Holmes, Sheldon Cooper, Queen Mary, and the several characters played by Nina Dobrev in that show about teen vampires. What are we even going to write about next week? Who knows! But maybe a few more of you will read our classic Friday Night Lights reviews when there’s nothing else on television—thus doubling their readership!


HERE ARE ALL THOSE FINALES
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8 p.m.): Damon tries to stave off the disintegration of the Other Side, while reeling from the death of that other sexy guy who was on the show. And Elena decides to take matters into her own hands? And Carrie Raisler is like yo, what is this show, right?

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.): Sheldon considers a “monumental” move, which, you know, we don’t actually know what that would be, except maybe Sheldon will now erect a monument to himself, and then try to move it? Oliver Sava is disappointed in our convoluted and very bad pun.

Reign (The CW, 9 p.m.): Lola goes into labor, and Mary and Francis take “drastic action” in response to Henry’s madness. Regicide! Regicide! Caroline Framke brought the pitchforks and torches.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9 p.m.): On the occasion of its 10th-season finale, we’re dropping in on this one, too—Gwen Ihnat is here to tell us how she feels about Grey’s Anatomy’s latter-day heartaches and loss.

Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.): And though Holmes and Watson are at a “crossroads,” tonight they join forces to get Mycroft out of hot water—treason and murder charges, to be exact. Myles McNutt knows from treason, let us tell you.


WE REALLY WANTED TO MAKE REIGN THE TOP PICK BUT IT IS POSSIBLE WE ARE TALKING UP THAT SHOW A LITTLE TOO MUCH
But because we really wanted to here is a photo of the glorious nonsense that is this show:

Adelaide Kane as Mary, Queen of Scots. LOOK AT HER DRESS LOOK AT IT

REGULAR COVERAGE THAT ISN’T A FINALE
Comedy Bang Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.)


ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
TV Roundtable returns today with another installment of television we watched as kids—Clarissa Explains It All’s “No T.V.” takes us to Nickelodeon in 1991. As it turns out, the Darling family is still quite darling. And because Sonia Saraiya has a problem, we have a season-long review of that weird old teen soap called Reign for you over in our TV Reviews section.


WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Black Box (ABC, 10 p.m.): A new psychiatrist is hired for the cube! THE CUUUUUUUUUUUUBE!!

Rosemary’s Baby (NBC, 10 p.m.): Conclusion. As Rosemary’s due date draws near, she starts getting super stressed out and not just in the “I’m about to have a thing pop out of me” way but more in the “I might have a satan baby pop out of me” way.

Watch What Happens: Live (Bravo, 11 p.m.): HOLY SHIT. TONI COLLETTE WILL BE THE GUEST ON TONIGHT’S WATCH WHAT HAPPENS: LIVE. Do you think she would answer our questions if we call in to ask about Hostages? Specifically: Why did she choose to do the show? How much money did CBS pay her? Was it worth the horrible cost of kissing Dylan McDermott? What was her wig like? Did she name it? Did its razor-sharp bang-edges cut into her forehead? Did it contain all of her power?

Loiter Squad (Adult Swim, 11:59 p.m.): And the third season of this Odd Future joint begins tonight. Tonight’s premiere: “Sweet Chin Music.”

The Princess Diaries (Oxygen, 8:15 p.m.): Marvel over the Disney film that launched Anne Hathaway’s career. Julie Andrews also stars, as the awesomest.

Hannah And Her Sisters (TCM, 9:15 p.m.): It seems a bit weird to promote Woody Allen’s films after the repeated, revealed scandal over the past year. If you ever wanted to see the art behind the drama: Hannah And Her Sisters is a powerful film. Mia Farrow also stars. Yeah, it’s all kind of upsetting now.

NBA Playoffs (ESPN, 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.): Two series-defining games tonight, as both conferences send teams to game six: At 8 p.m., the Pacers take on the Wizards, and at 10:30 p.m., the Thunder goes up against the Clippers. Both the Pacers and the Thunder have the advantage. The Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs have already advanced to the conference finals.


IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Arrow: This season has taken us by surprise by shooting from “has potential” to “damn amazing.” Some of us here in the What’s On Tonight offices are still catching up, but while we do that, won’t you check out Alasdair Wilkins’ review of the season finale?

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