Having shed the sweatpants and stubble of bankruptcy, a freshly scrubbed MGM is ready to rejoin the moviemaking workforce and get back to creating blockbuster films. And like Miramax and Warner Bros. before it, it plans to accomplish this by making the blockbuster films that have already been made all over again. In addition to The Hobbit, the next James Bond, and possibly releasing its already-completed remake of Red Dawn, the studio’s most pressing projects, according to Variety, include those reboots of Poltergeist and RoboCop that have been kicking around for a few years now.
As you may recall, Darren Aronofsky has long expressed interest in the latter, but it’s not clear whether he would still be involved; given that he’ll be busy with The Wolverine for the foreseeable future, it seems unlikely, which is sad. And of course, Poltergeist has come so close to fruition that at one time it was scheduled to be released last November; its IMDB page now lists it as 2013. The article actually lists it as a “fourth” film in the series—and if IMDB is to be believed, it will feature a grown-up version of clown-hating kid Robbie Freeling, presumably with kids of his own who talk to ghosts through their Twitter feed or something.
Also on the table: A remake of Taylor Hackford’s rock ‘n’ roll musical The Idolmaker—which may not be so bad, relatively speaking—and a long-overdue remake of Mr. Mom, which will contemporize the still-crazy story of a man taking care of children while his wife, who is a woman, goes to work, which is crazy. Women do not do that. But hey, lest you think MGM is simply recycling its own ideas, it’s also interested in telling some original stories—albeit original stories written centuries ago by people who are long dead now and can’t complain about it, such as another take on the Hercules legend from producer Peter Berg, and the dark retelling Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters. That last one stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton and, like every other dark fairy-tale 3-D adaptation, it has a rival in Michael Bay’s Hansel And Gretel In 3-D. In other words, good morning, today is another day.