In a rare reversal of position for Mitt Romney, the presumptive Republican nominee and all-around entertainer has backed out of appearing on Saturday Night Live, with producer Lorne Michaels citing conflicts with Romney's schedule (though he left open the possibility that Romney might make time in the fall). Michaels had extended the offer only a couple of weeks ago, with Romney expressing interest in taking him up on it depending "on the nature of the skit. I want it to be funny." You don't say! Why, there are at least three timidly humorous angles you could take with that! Choose your own path to quasi-satirical hilarity:
1. "Mitt Romney is not funny! He's stiff and awkward and even manages to make involuntary laughter sound practiced and insincere! Why, they should just get one of his cardboard campaign signs to host, because it has more personality—and it is cardboard!"
2. "Saturday Night Live is not funny! Therefore, his criteria for appearing will never be met because it is so not funny! Let me tell you again how Saturday Night Live is not funny and hasn't been since [insert era when you were a teenager]!"
3. "Conservatives/liberals/the election/democracy are what's really funny! They are the joke! Politicians, ugggghhhh!"
We hope you have enjoyed this brief, always-exciting intersection of politics and edgy comedy as much as you would have theoretically enjoyed Mitt Romney on Saturday Night Live.