Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, October 7. All times are Eastern.
Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.): Episode titles for Mom seem to be structured entirely in duos: Last week was “The Pee Stick And An Asian Raccoon,” and this week it’s “A Small Nervous Meltdown And A Misplaced Fork.” Are they trying to parallel the upsetting dichotomy of good and bad, heaven and earth, night and day? Or are they just trying to give Todd VanDerWerff carpal-tunnel as he stretches his pinky finger to the “Shift” key for Eight Whole Words For Each Episode? Join him as he nurses his injured wrists and tries to determine just how long this odd multi-cam sitcom will survive.
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.): In “The Box Prince,” Finn meets a Box Prince and has to restore him to his kingdom. His kingdom is the Box Kingdom, ya feel me? It has a Box Castle and their national holiday is Boxing Day. Oliver Sava knows that the Internet is a series of boxes.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Barney finds out that Ted still has feelings for Robin, and being the good guy he is, he decides to mercilessly punish Ted at the best-man poker game. Donna Bowman is waiting for this episode to turn into a slash-fiction version of Casino Royale.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.): Tonight’s episode is called “The Lesser Key Of Solomon.” This leads us to wonder where the Greater Key Of Solomon is. Zack Handlen isn’t a keymaster, he’s a gatekeeper.
The Blacklist (NBC, 10 p.m.): Same as last week, but this time, the evil guy is Chinese! Phil Dyess-Nugent is getting tired of all of these international villains. Has crime, too, been outsourced to foreign countries? Thanks, Obama!
Hostages (CBS, 10 p.m.): We’d try to give you a summary of tonight’s episode of Hostages, but it’s the same as every other episode so far, which is that Toni Collette is trying to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister!!1 Oh wait, that’s Zoolander, isn’t it? Sonia Saraiya would rather be drinking an orange mocha frappuccino.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Hart Of Dixie (The CW, 8 p.m.): This show still exists, and is going into its third season! Zoe is trying to relocate to New York City, which, pah! Who wants to live there?
Beauty And The Beast (The CW, 9 p.m.): This show also still exists! The CW is such a revelation. In this season two opener, Vincent returns “a changed man.” Vague and chilling melodrama? We’ll take it.
Monsters Inside Me (Animal Planet, 9 p.m.): The name of tonight’s episode is “There’s A Worm In My Eye.” There is nothing else to be said.
Santa Diabla (Telemundo, 10 p.m.): The description for this show is entirely in Spanish (the show will also be entirely in Spanish), but based on what we learned in high school we’re pretty sure that it’s going to be about a woman who eventually became saint through a path of intrigue and vengeance. That doesn’t sound right at all but it also promises to be “increíble” so we feel confident endorsing it.
Dream School (Sundance, 10 p.m.): Fifteen troubled youths are put into a program where they're taught by cool, famous people like 50 Cent, David Arquette, and Soledad O'Brien. Is this solving the education crisis in America or producing hype for a bunch of semi-stars who want to look good on television? You decide!
Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (IFC, 8 p.m.): Hey, we sort of liked this movie, even though it suffered a bit if you didn’t happen to be one of those people that read all 20 novels that made up the source material. We read one, on audiobook, and it was good except there was no explanation of nautical terms so it was only three years later that we learned a “forecastle” is pronounced “foxell.” We still have no idea where or what a forecastle is, though. Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany star as handsome bros.
The American President (CMT, 8 p.m.): Before we all hated Aaron Sorkin, he was this clever liberal guy who made snappy movies like The American President. It’s still a good movie, even though now we get walk-and-talk whiplash every time Michael J. Fox’s character talks to anyone about anything. Michael Douglas and Annette Bening star as star-crossed lovers.
MLB Playoffs: Red Sox at Rays (ESPN, 6 p.m.): Hey, remember when the Rays were called the Devil Rays? Some of us who are from Tampa still call them that at sports bars when they’re trying to look cool and then we get laughed out of the building. The Red Sox will be there as well. They will also be laughing.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Low Winter Sun (Sunday): AMC really wanted you to care about this show, and you probably didn't, even if Mark Strong was in it. Fortunately, Dennis Perkins watched it for you, and while he can't exactly say it ended well, there's a scene in the middle there with Jennifer Ehle that might be one of the best things he's seen this year.