A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features TV Club Newswire
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Nation descends into unmanly lawlessness with cancellation of Judge Joe Brown

Leaving a nation teetering on the brink of lawlessness, its womanhood unprotected and manhood un-promoted, CBS has canceled the long-running Judge Joe Brown, the syndicated courtroom show that for 15 years has been the thin brown line standing between order and chaos, crankily telling chaos to shut its mouth while order is talking. The Hollywood Reporter says CBS opted to end the series after a prolonged salary negotiation, which saw the judge who frequently tells his litigants to have some self-control demanding a raise on his $20 million-a-year salary, even as his ratings continued to decline. But exhortations for CBS to “man up” and give him more money fell on deaf ears, apparently, and the show will end its run this September. And after Brown departs the TV bench, there shall be utter anarchy, feebly addressed by such lesser, unmanly sham courts as Judge Judy, The People’s Court, Judge Alex, Judge Mathis, the Supreme Court, etc.  

Submit your Newswire tips here.