Parenthood (NBC, 10 p.m.): Various superstorm- and election-related circumstances conspired to keep the Bravermans off of your TV for the past two weeks. They’re crawling out from under a pile of debris and red-white-and-blue confetti tonight to, well… continue eking out the type of small-scale, recognizably human existence that makes it too easy for a majority of the television audience to ignore Parenthood. But if Todd VanDerWerff could have his way, tens of millions of viewers would be gnawing through their cuticles as Kristina begins chemotherapy.
Raising Hope (Fox, 8 p.m.): Another knotty root of the Chance family tree shows itself, this time revealing the brief period Jimmy spent in the custody of another couple. It’s getting to the point where Phil Dyess-Nugent half expects Virginia to have swapped lives with an identical twin sometime during the first Bush presidency.
Ben And Kate (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): It’s unfortunate that the news about Garrett Donovan and Neil Goldman’s departure from Ben And Kate had to precede the show’s funniest episode since its pilot. If you’ve waited to check this one out, Molly Eichel implores you to stop waiting.
Happy Endings (ABC, 9 p.m.): Brad’s introduction to Max World goes one step further as he’s roped into the exciting field of bar mitzvah entertainment. David Sims looks forward to hearing Damon Wayans Jr.’s Hebrew skills.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): “Menzies” is the type of New Girl episode title that would’ve made Erik Adams throw up his arms in defeat this time last year. Now, however, he trusts the show with such a delicate topic—or at least has faith that a few Schmidt one-liners or a Nick freak-out might offset the cheap “that time of the month” jokes.
Go On (NBC, 9 p.m.): Just as NBC has done with Parenthood, Sonia Saraiya’s had to keep her thoughts about “Videogame, Set, Match” pent up for the last 14 days. Now she can take to the rooftops and scream her opinions about Ryan bonding with Owen over Halo!
Don’t Trust The B---- In Apartment 23(ABC, 9:30 p.m.): JVDB is up for the honor of People’s “Sexiest Man Alive”—which, to Emily Guendelsberger, indicates that the editorial staff of People is somehow unfamiliar with this.
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): Mindy enters into a game of chicken with Danny—wherein the point they collide, should neither of them bail out, is a gynecological checkup. David Sims has only the most dignified and gentlemanly things to say about this situation.
Vegas (CBS, 10 p.m.): The show turns in its election episode one week too late. Or 40-some years too late, considering when Vegas takes place. Phil Dyess-Nugent won’t hold it against Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis, though.
Sons Of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.): As the show nears the end of its fifth season, it loosens it belt and expands to a 90-minute running time. Zack Handlen is a tiny bit afraid of what depravity Kurt Sutter and company might uncover with an extra 30 minutes on their hands.
Underemployed (MTV, 10 p.m.): The Underemployed kids might not have control over any other aspect of their lives, but in the realm of pub quizzes, they are the ones who call the shots. Farihah Zaman can’t wait until watching all this Underemployed pays off in some sort of trivia contest.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Arrested Development (11 a.m.): Perfectly timed with the release of Skyfall, Noel Murray delves into Arrested Development’s third, divisive season—and its James Bond-riffing, “For British eyes only”/“Mr. F” arc. Michael Bluth’s battle with “the Merry Poppuns” has left Noel shaken and stirred.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Frontier Earth With Dave Salmoni (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): Animal Planet star Dave Salmoni follows wildlife experts who dare to, for example, swim with orcas or track Komodo dragons. None of this, unfortunately, aligns with the Bruce Boxleitner-penned sci-fi-Western that’s also called Frontier Earth.
Little People Big World: Wedding Farm (TLC, 9 p.m.): Presumably sensing a Honey Boo Boo shortage (or a huge viewer backlash when people finally admit how boring Breaking Amish is), TLC battens down for the winter by consolidating some of its most popular topics: Unique families and WEDDINGS, WEDDINGS, WEDDINGS!
Mankind The Story Of All Of Us (History, 9 p.m.): When History mailed The A.V. Club a mailer containing “SOME OF THE KEY ELEMENTS TO MANKIND’S SURVIVAL,” we couldn’t figure out why Mr. Socko wasn’t included alongside silk, iron, penicillin, and the like. Then we realized this wasn’t a documentary about pro-wrestling personality Mick Foley, and our interests in the special began to wane.
Wild Hawaii (Animal Planet, 9 p.m.): Part the second of a big première night for nature series strips the 50th state of its Aloha shirt and tropical cocktail to take a look at the Hawaii you won’t find on a guided tour originating from an all-inclusive resort, ya goddamn tourist!
Goon (Showtime, 8:30 p.m.): Throwing DVRs across the nation into a swooning state of confusion, this surprisingly enjoyable, Jay-Baruchel-and-Evan-Goldberg-penned hockey comedy airs on the same night as the similarly spelled Go On. If you end up with Sean William Scott where you expect to see Matthew Perry, you’ll know why.
Our Betters (TCM, 9:45 p.m.): A satirical look at relations among the British upper crust—and a film which, for all its Britishness (though it is, to be fair, an American production) somehow doesn’t involve a time-traveling Benedict Cumberbatch. It muddles through with runners-up in the “most British British names ever” race like co-star Violet Kemble-Cooper and writer Harry Wagstaff Gribble.
College Basketball: Kansas vs. Michigan State (ESPN, 8 p.m.): The second-annual Champions Classic kicks off in Atlanta with a matchup between the Jayhawks, last season’s Big 12 champions, and the Spartans, who took the 2011-12 Big Ten conference championship. That’s a jumble of numerals that only gets more confusing when it’s taken into account that the Big 12 only comprises 10 universities these days, while 12 schools compete within the Big Ten. Once your brain recovers, enjoy some quality college hoops.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Catfish: Having exposed the terrible truth that, hey, people might not always represent themselves honestly on the Internet, Catfish star Nev Schulman assists people going through similarly dubious courtships. Still, Phil Dyess-Nugent has to admit it’s more faithful to its source material than, say, the Revenge Of The Nerds TV series.