NBC's Today helps America move on from 9/11 by interviewing Kris Jenner about her breasts

NBC's Today helps America move on from 9/11 by interviewing Kris Jenner about her breasts

This morning saw the annual moment of silence for 9/11 victims, a sobering reminder that is echoed everywhere from the White House lawn to the New York Stock Exchange, as well as on almost all major news networks. But NBC's Today, knowing that if we take the time every single September 11 to get all hung up on tragedy, rather than letting narcissistic reality show stars babble incessantly about themselves, then the terrorists win. So instead, it boldly chose to fill that time with an interview with Kris Jenner, famewhore fountainhead of the Kardashians, commemorating her own, equally important anniversary of getting her breast implants, thus helping America finally and truly move on from 9/11.

Thanks to the video editing team at New York's Daily Intel, you can get an idea of how Today's 9/11 coverage of this newer grim symbol of our 21st-century society stacked up against MSNBC, Fox News, and CNBC, with bells somberly tolling and "Taps" playing in the background as Jenner tells Savannah Guthrie all about her "important message" regarding always checking the expiration date on your fake breasts. Unfortunately, many people weren't ready to hear another important message right that minute, even if it could save lives and make you look years younger. Many subsequently lodged complaints, while New York's NBC affiliate cut into the Today interview with local coverage, because they just can't let go of the past.

Show spokesperson Megan Kopf made her own personal appeal to upset viewers to just hurry up and heal already, issuing a statement to Politico (and several other outlets) reading, "The Today show dedicated a considerable amount of time to September 11th coverage this morning throughout the entire show." And it's, like, how much September 11 stuff do you really need to wallow in on September 11, defeatists? Let us instead look instead to the future, and fill the emptiness in our chests with metaphorical plastic bags of self-serving artificiality.   

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