Never mind, Ashley Judd will not be running for Senate

Never mind, Ashley Judd will not be running for Senate

After much “serious and thoughtful contemplation,” actress and Appalachian ghetto survivor Ashley Judd has decided not to run for Kentucky’s Senate seat next year, citing a need to “be focused on my family" and just pretending to be a politician in the far less contentious arena of the movies. Taking to the soapbox that is Twitter, Judd said, “I have spoken to so many Kentuckians over these last few months who expressed their desire for a fighter for the people & new leader. While that won’t be me at this time, I will continue to work as hard as I can to ensure the needs of Kentucky families are met by returning this Senate seat to whom it rightfully belongs: the people & their needs, dreams, and great potential. Thanks for even considering me as that person & know how much I love our Commonwealth. Thank you!”

This brings an end to months of rallying around Judd as a potential Democratic challenger to the entrenched Mitch McConnell—rallying that was, naturally, immediately met by an attack ad from Karl Rove preemptively painting her as “an Obama-loving Hollywood radical liberal,” and mocking her for actually living in Tennessee yet still vying to represent Kentucky. Rove’s threats of future attack ads—maybe next time even bringing up Tooth Fairy—will now go unrealized (even though you just know he probably also had that line from Heat all ready to go, for whenever her campaign gained a little momentum). Meanwhile, the Democrats have to find someone else who can match the charm and charisma of Mitch McConnell.

Unfortunately, according to what we think we learned from Double Jeopardy, this means Ashley Judd can never run again, and also she can now kill Kentucky with immunity.