As it turns out, the question of whether Kathryn Bigelow’s Kill Bin Laden could be the first to capitalize on the Al Qaeda figurehead’s death is a moot one: Like Michael Jackson-inspired military fashions and Pink Floyd-indebted concept albums about saving the environment, Corey Feldman got there first. According to a press release making the rounds today, Feldman’s new comedy Operation Belvis Bash had just completed a three-day tour of Texas when the news broke that Bin Laden had been killed—which is certainly coincidental, as that’s the very subject of the movie. Sort of. In actuality, any Bin Laden plotline would seem to be entirely tangential, judging by this synopsis:
Operation Belvis Bash is the story of a struggling rock and roll musician (Alexander Loy) who is recruited to go to Afghanistan and win the hearts and minds of the Afghani people. He is joined by the outrageous “Jewtastic” comedian, Samuel Stilman (Corey Feldman) as he embarks upon his futile quest. As danger surrounds Bash and his rag-tag team of entertainers at the hands of infamous terrorist, Abdul (The Iron Sheik), Bash finds himself upstaged by a musical theater heavyweight, Alfons Logoluso (Frank Stallone). As another night falls on Kabul, will rock and roll shine the beacon of freedom in a land ravaged by darkness?
More importantly, will a film starring Corey Feldman, The Iron Sheik, and Frank Stallone permanently paralyze our nation’s stoners and video store clerks, leaving them unable to ironically appreciate anything ever again? That remains to be seen, of course, but Feldman, for one, is similarly gobsmacked by the odd serendipity of the timing, which he sees as nothing short of historic:
“It’s absolutely unbelievable. I was in New York on September 11, 2001, with Michael Jackson, and then, nearly ten years later, I walk out of the premiere of my latest film, which I had postponed to be able to attend Corey Haim’s Decisions premiere and memorial, to learn that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by a special operation, just like in the film we’d just screened. The timing is simply unbelievable, and whether life imitates art, or art imitates life, now is a time for all Americans to express their gratitude to the brave men and women who serve our country and helped make this happen.”
The best way to express that gratitude, of course, would be to catch Operation Belvis Bash in limited release this summer, where audiences can gather to show their support for the military personnel who secured this victory, and thus transformed a film about Corey Feldman and Frank Stallone fighting terrorists into a story about each and every one of us.