Never mind, there will still be plenty of meat at that Morrissey show 

Never mind, there will still be plenty of meat at that Morrissey show 

In news that threatens to turn Morrissey into one giant bleeding ulcer, the Staples Center has issued a press release to clarify yesterday’s announcement that it would be going completely vegetarian for his March 1 show. And by “clarify” we mean, “completely deny.” Contrary to what Morrissey said, the venue will not be banning the sale of all “flesh for food,” but will instead simply be keeping all of the backstage catering meat-free. The rest of the arena, meanwhile, will remain an omnivore’s orgy—an abattoir of Eden where concertgoers can sway with bratwursts clasped like greasy glowsticks in each fist, clamber atop their hastily constructed cheeseburger forts, spell out the lyrics to “Suedehead” in chili, and slaughter then deep-fry their own beloved family pets should the mood strike.

Or, at least, they can still get a hot dog if they want, though the Staples Center says it will also encourage its vendors to add more vegan Sloppy Joes and such to their menus, while also offering PETA the chance to set up an information booth, where its representatives can seethe in a more visible way than usual. Anyway, this means you can stop stuffing your wineskins full of meatloaf, at least for this show.