When living 2 a.m. phone call Courtney Love started babbling into the dangling receiver that she planned to write a “tell-all memoir,” most questioned what there was left to tell after an entire existence based on solipsistic oversharing, as well as whether one could write a “memoir” without relying on actually remembering things. But of course, every day of Love’s life brings new and horrible anecdotes, a sprawling saga that couldn’t possibly be contained within a single omnibus even with 100 monkeys working at 100 typewriters before passing out in their monkey-sick. As proof, today addiction and recovery site The Fix offers up some excerpts from Courtney Comes Clean, a forthcoming e-book oral history written by Maer Roshan, who turned a single interview with the occasional singer into a sprawling Book of Love for those who wonder wonder who-be-doo-dah-how many ways there are to say that Courtney Love is a danger to herself and others.
There are several choice excerpts here, including Love claiming that “getting off drugs” (Except for prescription pills, which don’t count because they come from doctors!) “has made me feel really sexual and tender... like a 16-year-old virgin,” that doing crack made her “a fucking whiz at calculus,” and revealing that part of her recovery has included hiring “a Tibetan woman whose entire job is to help me chant,” which is just one of those necessary expenses that have forced to cut back on other things, such as paying rent. She also relays a humorous story about living in Dr. Phil’s old house, which she intended to flip—but like so many renovators, she became so overwhelmed by the task of updating Dr. Phil’s tacky décor that she ended up “getting bundles of blow delivered to my house by a mulatto in a Nissan with a dragging muffler” instead. (Well, here’s hoping her purchases helped that nice mulatto afford to get their muffler fixed! And that she did not use the word "mulatto," or mention her husband's song with the word "mulatto" when speaking with him! )
But as always, the most damning details come from people who are not Courtney Love—specifically estranged daughter Frances Bean Cobain, whose deposition from her 2009 restraining order reveal plenty of things that will shock people who have never really read anything about Courtney Love. Among the things that we are supposed to call "allegations": that Love “basically exists on Xanax, Adderall, Sonata and Abilify, sugar and cigarettes”; that she “spends much of her day raging about the fraud that has been perpetrated on her and on me” by slamming doors and spending “hours on the phone, yelling;” and that she dragged Frances to an ex-boyfriend’s home in the middle of the night to throw rocks at his house.
Of course, said ex-boyfriend got off easy, considering. As her daughter points out, Love’s influence is apparently so toxic, even her pets end up killing themselves: The cat “died after getting entangled in piles of Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash and other possessions,” while their dog “died after swallowing a pile of Love’s pills.” So you see? There’s just no danger of running out of Courtney Love material—not when her life remains such a veritable garden of forking paths (that you should probably walk really carefully on to avoid stepping on broken glass and dead things). [via NYDN]