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News of an impending Captain Planet movie heroically recycled

Sensing that entertainment news had become overwhelmed with unhealthy toxic waste, The Hollywood Reporter has admirably launched a recycling program by noting that a Captain Planet movie is in development. It’s a story that was first manufactured in 2011, then seemingly drained of all its opportunities for references to that Don Cheadle video and discarded, but which has now been repurposed with the minor update that Sony is in “final negotiations” to pick it up, thus giving it new life.

Not unlike a Whole Foods shopping bag made from plastic bottles, the story remains rather limited in its usefulness: There’s no further details beyond what we already knew two years ago—that Transformers producer Don Murphy is leading the charge on adapting another nostalgia property in which the earth is threatened by machines, this time wielded by its greatest villains: loggers and sewage treatment managers. Still, being reused like this is obviously better than seeing it littered in the streets, because—as we all learned in the ‘90s—that sort of waste leads to environmental catastrophe that can only be solved by a lecturing blue guy.*  

*Jokes constructed from 100% recycled material.

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